Blue Collared Banter: E06 - Urine, Hot Dogs, and World Records

In Episode 6 of Blue Collared Banter — Urine, Hot Dogs, and World Records — Ryan and Ken celebrate a small milestone when they realize their show has officially gone “international.” That discovery quickly turns into talk about building their social pages, launching a website, and figuring out how this whole podcast thing actually works.

Ryan recaps a weekend that somehow includes a farm-to-table dinner, a trip to the shooting range, and a series of late-night house incidents that raise a very real question: is the place haunted… or just falling apart?

A dark “Would You Rather” question steers the conversation into strange territory, followed by a debate about hydration that gets way more detailed than anyone expected.

They also react to some unbelievably weird headlines, rant about a famous energy drink lawsuit, and stumble into a world-record story that probably should have stayed undiscovered.

The episode wraps up with a questionable food moment and a retail frustration that anyone who’s ever waited in a warehouse store line will understand. Chaos, confusion, and classic Blue Collared Banter.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

What did I hear you talking about earlier? You said how you have worn a different hat for every episode so far that we've been recording. And I said, that's awesome. Um I've worn the same pair of underwear for every recording. I don't I don't I don't want to change Hey!

SPEAKER_06 0:21

Welcome back to Blue Collar Banner.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

Sorry, hey, um, I'm Ryan with Clean Underwear.

SPEAKER_06 0:26

Yeah, no, that's not what you just said. I'm Ken. Listen, this is episode six of Sace. Say six?

SPEAKER_04 0:36

Look at you learning your.

SPEAKER_03 0:37

I know, I know German too. You really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 0:39

Eins, right? Try, fear, fool, sex, even nine cents.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

It's like a way with some fucking house music to start. Oh, that was one through ten.

SPEAKER_07 0:55

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 1:06

Well, anyway, welcome to episode six. Yes, sir. Blue collar band. Yeah. Let's not forget we're an international podcast now, baby. Oh, hey, we're an international podcast now.

SPEAKER_04 1:17

So, uh, yeah, between the last one that we recorded and this one, which, you know, long time. Anyway, so we got our analytics back from the We dropped their first episode.

SPEAKER_06 1:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:27

And overnight, dude, we had like 10 downloads, which I don't know if that's a lot, but that's fucking impressive to me because I don't have to be.

SPEAKER_06 1:34

One of the downloads was in Cambodia.

SPEAKER_04 1:36

Yeah, dude, in Asia, numb. We are we're officially an internationally known podcast right now, which I think is pretty fucking cool. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Like, and like there was even in North America, right? There was only like two or three local to us. The rest, like, there was Colorado, California, California, like and that's super cool because it's not just our friends, like, I'll do it for you know, yeah, it's here. I'll give you a sympathy, like, you know, a sympathy download, they're never gonna fucking listen to it. So, what was really cool, I um I don't know if I've told you this, but once we uploaded our first one to YouTube, I was sitting down here on my couch and just watching TV or whatever, like we're done. And Gage is upstairs, and I hear him just start busting out.

SPEAKER_07 2:28

Give a whole new meaning to yes, Daddy. So Dirty bastard. Kind of can.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

So I hear him just upstairs, just laughing.

SPEAKER_04 2:44

And so I pause the TV. I'm like, what the fuck is he laughing at? And then I hear our voices in the background. I'm like, holy shit, he's watching our voice.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

He's fucking crying up there.

SPEAKER_04 2:55

Oh, yeah. I'm like, that's really cool. Like, that's an awesome feeling. So that being said, we put our first episode out there. I mean, uh, you guys probably watched it a month ago now, but for us, that was just a couple of days ago.

SPEAKER_06 3:10

Yeah, because we have videos we well, what we did, we'd we'd recorded five episodes um before we wanted to drop anything, right? Uh, and then we dropped because we you know, we were figuring out editing, we were figuring it out uh where how to disperse it, and you know, recording schedules, making sure just doing everything, but now we're we're in a rhythm, we know how to semi-edit right enough to make it work, yeah. And uh, you know, so we got our transition videos and stuff, so we're gonna be, you know, it's it's gonna be cool, and it's only gonna get better from here.

SPEAKER_04 3:41

Oh, yeah, for sure. Um, so now you again by the time you've seen this, they've been out for a while, but we got a Instagram set up, we have a TikTok up and running, we have our YouTube page up and running, and we're going to have a Facebook page up and running, as well as the email that we have, and we'll come back on all these in more detail later, but like it's like a full-blown real thing right now.

SPEAKER_06 4:05

Yeah, tonight we're actually working on a website.

SPEAKER_04 4:07

Yeah, we're gonna be yeah, I would love to get that website up and running soon, which by the time this drops, we will. Oh, yeah. So we we got a lot of stuff moving, a lot of stuff coming in, and we're just having a fucking blast, dude. Oh, dude, it's awesome. Yeah, it's it's just like so. What you guys don't know behind the scenes is when Ken comes over to record, you see an hour and a half of it, but he's here for like six or seven hours. Like, he's here a good chunk of the day, and we just bullshit and have fun. Like, this is something that we really like and editing and shit, just messing with each other.

SPEAKER_06 4:36

Yeah, I've been yeah, I like this couch. Oh god, it uh energy, it's energized. I don't I don't know how else to say it. When we stand up off of this couch, it we have so much static electricity that it hurts when you touch something. I touched the chair earlier. I heard it, yeah. Oh my god, dude.

SPEAKER_04 4:56

I'm gonna go ahead and say, at the risk of maybe getting in trouble here, this couch is infused with the energy of our ancestors. Because this couch used to belong to Shay's mom. Okay. This was her mom's couch. What are you saying? It's haunted. No, I'm not saying it's haunted. I'm just saying that like it's got energy. Yeah. It's gets it's got it's got like energy. But speaking of haunted, I have something we'll touch on later, because fuck that. Um What do you what? Alright. Um Did you do anything interesting this weekend? Did you do any? I mean, I've got I've got a whole list of weekend activities.

SPEAKER_06 5:32

So uh no, I just worked on college this weekend.

SPEAKER_04 5:35

Oh, yeah, that's right. You're like trying to go to college and be a real human or whatever. I guess.

SPEAKER_06 5:40

Did you have to what'd you have to do? Like anything special. I had to write a paper that I wasn't uh I had to write a thousand-word essay. Thousand?

SPEAKER_04 5:48

Do you even know a thousand words?

SPEAKER_06 5:51

I do. Now, whether whether it's essay, you know, uh compatible, I don't know. But no, I I mean I already got the grade back for it, so I I got a hundred on it.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

You got an F for fuck.

SPEAKER_06 6:02

Fuck, yeah. No, no, I actually got a hundred on it. I was pretty stoked about it. No, no, I'm sorry. I got a uh 97 on it because uh he said I I something in format in a college paper. Uh yeah, you know, you can't use fuck on a college paper. No, he said something with my format, and that's the first time I've had to write it like an APA format. Did you write it or did Victoria write it? Oh no, I wrote it.

SPEAKER_04 6:22

Oh, good for you. Is that just because we're recording or is that what really happened?

SPEAKER_06 6:25

Oh no, no, that's really what happened. Yeah, no, she just helps me with my Spanish. That's fair. Yeah, she she can she she's been taking Spanish since she was little. Yeah. And uh and she has, I don't know, like 17 friends that speak Spanish.

SPEAKER_04 6:37

It's funny, every time I talk to her, she wants me to speak Spanish to her.

SPEAKER_06 6:41

Yeah, she she she thinks it's hilarious because you know, when she was younger, we'd be working, and uh, and she would hear you just go off in one of your Spanish tangents that you do and just start talking in that deep voice of a Spanish accent, and then you know, she she she just thought it was hilarious, right? So she she always thinks it's funny when you do that.

SPEAKER_04 7:00

So I had I had a bit of a weekend. Okay. Um had to go to Sam's Club. We can we'll we'll get back to that later because that was a fucking ride.

SPEAKER_06 7:09

Um okay. Sam's Club is like uh if you don't know, Sam's Club's like a Costco or a BJ's wholesale, yeah. BJ's.

SPEAKER_04 7:16

Um, and then there's this little place up the road, Angeline and a neighborhood next to me. It's like a like a cafe diner thing, but it's like farm to table, right?

SPEAKER_06 7:25

So what do you mean farm to table?

SPEAKER_04 7:27

So in the parking lot of this place, they have like half an acre of grassland, and it's a farm. Up and down, there's rows of lettuce and tomatoes and carrots and cabbages and all this shit growing. Okay, and they grow it there and bring it inside and cook it. Okay. And like off on the back right, there's um there's like uh like a chicken coop. Okay. Um, I uh I don't know if it's where they get the chickens to cook or if it's where they get the eggs from.

SPEAKER_06 7:56

You go outside and you pick I named that chicken Bob, and then you go inside. I want it more.

SPEAKER_04 8:01

You got a Bob sandwich. So I didn't bring that up to Shay because I was like, I wonder because so so we explored the whole thing.

SPEAKER_06 8:08

She wouldn't eat it, I don't think it's not at all live 30 seconds ago.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

Because you gotta remember how this family feels about birds.

SPEAKER_06 8:15

Oh, yeah, you guys have like 17 birds out in the living room. Yeah, five. Okay, it seems like 17 sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

Sometimes it sounds like 17. Yeah. So we went there and we went and saw the chickens, went inside, ordered food, came back out. Saturday was great, aside from Sam's Club. Now, Sunday, I just picked up that that new Kimber and I hadn't shot it yet. So yeah, you guys, yeah, yeah. Sunday we went to the range.

SPEAKER_06 8:39

Finally own a weapon now.

SPEAKER_04 8:41

Forever. No, and it's gonna turn. It's we've entered a rabbit hole we can't come to.

SPEAKER_06 8:45

Yeah, you told me that uh you you're getting as soon as you got it and shot it, you felt that that that energy come back to oh no, not getting it again to it. Next week you're gonna own 14 rifles and five shotguns.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

As of right now, I own two. Um, so so we went oh oh hers, right? So we went to the range, and you know, she hasn't been to a range in 20, 22 years, and she's not a very big gun person, she's not a I want to go shoot. She's she's very passive, but she's also I want to be able to take care of myself. I want, I want to know how to do that. Yeah, yeah. So she had like a little bit of a struggle once we went to the range, but once she got past that, she was like, Hell yeah. So um Erica. Fuck yeah. So I rented her a little bodyguard 380. It sucked, it misfired like every third round. It had to have 20,000 rounds put down the pipe. It's it was shitty. But she liked the gun. Yeah, and she goes, I would feel better if I had one of those. And I said, Here's my mistake. I said, Did you know they make those guns in pink? She goes, I want one. Good job. So um, yesterday I went and bought a pink bodyguard 380.

SPEAKER_06 9:58

Pink on the like the the black lower with the pink ones.

SPEAKER_04 10:00

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They don't have those. So those guns actually, they don't just produce pink ones, they make them going into the holidays and they send them out to certain distributors and manufacturers, and when they're gone, they're gone until the next year. Really? Because I've seen I've seen a lot. I mean, I've seen it. There's a lot of them, right? But she so she wanted um pink lower, silver upper, black barrel, right? Okay, couldn't find it. She wanted, then I'm like, they don't have that. They had a pink lower, black barrel. Black upper. Right. She goes, I don't like that as much, but oh so I the only one I could find was like a dark pink, like cranberry lower and a light pink upper. And she Oh, I've seen those. Yeah, it's like it's almost like a two-tone pink. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I found it, I can get it, it's here, and it's their last one. She goes, do it. So all right, now is that gonna be your EDC now, your everyday carry?

SPEAKER_08 10:54

I actually dude.

SPEAKER_04 10:56

I actually kind of like it, man.

SPEAKER_06 10:58

Like, is it double stack or single? It's I don't know, bodyguards.

SPEAKER_04 11:01

Double stack 12.

SPEAKER_06 11:02

Double stack, nice.

SPEAKER_04 11:03

Double stack, it comes with a 12 and a 10. Nice. And shooting it's like a BB gun. I I kinda I'm not against it being my everyday dude. Like, and imagine, imagine that world for a minute, right? God forbid I ever actually have to draw and fire on another person, right? Yeah, imagine the thought in that dude's mind.

SPEAKER_06 11:24

Like dying to a pink gun. Right.

SPEAKER_04 11:26

Like I draw, he's at the end of the barrel, and he goes, Is that dude holding a pink bang? Yeah. Because that idea, as dark as it is, is very, very funny to me. Like, I'm like, I think I kind of so I told Shay, I'm like, I kind of like this, I might kind of want to carry it. And she goes, You can't, it's mine.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

I said, technically, according to the FFL, I filled out, but nah, it's her, she's super excited for it.

SPEAKER_04 11:58

Which Shay a month ago to Shay now being excited to have and own a firearm, I'm so proud. Yeah, I'm so proud. I I because like it's a big step for her, and I know it's a big step for her, and I I'm just happy that like she's really, really into it. But the bigger, the bigger thing that happened this weekend is okay, so you've seen scary movies and ghost movies and all that other shit, right? Like, hear me out. Okay, okay, so listen.

SPEAKER_06 12:31

Is this an alright hear me out?

SPEAKER_04 12:33

No, it's not. It's just I mean, it could be, but it's not. So every haunted house story that are real quote unquote that you hear from starts with we found this house, it was a great deal, we couldn't turn it down, everything worked out in our favor, we moved in, it was the happiest day of our life. Kind of like what happened here, right? You know the story of how I got this, right? So what are you saying this house is haunted? I'm saying it might be. Come on now, bro. Like, so two about two months ago. Um two months ago?

SPEAKER_06 13:07

Something haunting happened? No, two, it started. Shut the fuck up and let me tell my story. This is the first time I'm hearing about it. It's for a reason we we talk every day. Why am I just now hearing that your house is haunted? I'm sorry, princess.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

Are your feelings hurt? Yeah, a little bit. Shut the fuck up and let me tell my story. So, like two months ago, always at nighttime, between two and three o'clock in the morning. Okay, it's usually when creepy stuff happens. Fucking right. Our smoke alarm started going off. Now, they they aren't hardwired in, they're all in, there's one right above your head. They're all individual, they're all battery powered.

SPEAKER_06 13:44

Okay, so they're not wired, because a lot of times, especially with newer houses, they'll be wired all to connected.

SPEAKER_04 13:50

Right, no. So this house is like 15 or 20 years old. It's newer, but they're all separate, right? Oh, okay. They're all none of them are wired together. And the smoke alarms, they wouldn't go off that night, they would just beep. But not the battery's dead. But not not the battery dead. The battery dead beeps like every five minutes, maybe. It's just a quick little chirp, yeah, and then it's done, right? No, this is like a loud, like it's going off beep, but every 60 to 90 seconds. Just enough where you hear it, it wakes you up, you go back to sleep, and you're awake again. And Shay does one of these and goes, What's going on with the smoke alarm? I'm like, What do you mean? She goes, There's something beeping outside, and then I wake up on a listener and I hear beep, beep, beep, beep and then it stops. Like it's about to go off, but then it doesn't. Yeah. I'm like, it's probably because the battery dying or something. And I go to go back to sleep and beep, beep, beep as soon as I fall back asleep. And she goes, There's something going on. So I go out there and I pull it, I look at it, everything's fine, it's not going off. I put it back on the wall, and it stops. I literally sat in my kitchen for 10 minutes, didn't hear a thing. I went back and laid down in bed as soon as my head hit the pillow. Beep, beep, beep.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

And bro, this is three ago.

SPEAKER_06 15:09

Would this be a bad time to tell you that I put a thing in your house to where I control it and push a button and it beeps every once in a while? I wish it were true.

SPEAKER_04 15:17

That'd be so good to do though. I woke up the next morning, changed all the batteries and all the smoke alarms. Because we did have an issue when we first moved in. Zoe's was dying, so I changed it. And Tate goes, hey, my my smoke alarm's beeping, so I change it. So I went through and gets fucking changed them all, dude. Okay. Three days later.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Beep, beep, beep.

SPEAKER_06 15:39

Three o'clock in the fucking morning. Are you sure they're not carbon monoxide too? It's a sensor could be going bad or something.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

It's not. They're all just smoke. There's no carbon monoxide, they're all just smoke. And it's weird. I don't think that's a haunting thing, though. There's more. Okay. So last night, I slept- Wait, I slept like There's more. I slept like fucking dog shit last night.

SPEAKER_06 16:02

Because this is last night now. Yeah. This is like three weeks ago or three months ago or right.

SPEAKER_04 16:06

This is just last night. Yeah. I've been dragging ass all day. Because so you know the sound of an electrical short, like high like that pop, pop, pop, and that sizzle that comes after it, right? Okay. Two o'clock in the morning, I hear that pop, pop, pop, and it's not like a gunshot sound, it's like an electrical short sound. And then I hear what sounds like an electrical sizzling. And Shay goes, Did you hear that? I said, Yeah, I did. And I get up and I walk out and I'm looking for fire or blue for like blue shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I look immediately, 10 10 second scan. I don't see fire. I don't see smoke. I don't see anything. I look around, I'm like, all right, nothing's on fire. There's obviously not an intruder. Like, we're fine. Yeah. And I go and lay back down. I was a piece of shit, man. Like, I'm like, bro, I'm I'm like, nothing's on fire. There's nobody in my house who who who doesn't belong here. I can handle this in the morning. Shay goes and explores. Okay. And she comes back in like five, because she comes back in like five minutes later. What ended up happening was, you know those pictures on the right side, like when you walk in my front door. Yeah, Shay has all those, there's like 30 some odd pictures there, right? Yeah. Um, one of them, they come with a self-adhesive. And you know, I just hung a whole bunch of them. One of the older ones that has been on the wall forever, the top one fell down, took three down underneath it. That's what the pop, pop, pop, pop was.

SPEAKER_06 17:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:33

That freaked out the birds who started flapping around. That's what the sizzle sound was.

SPEAKER_06 17:39

Okay. So you so it's not haunted. Does the picture fell off the wall?

SPEAKER_04 17:42

No, but it's not. So why? Why what? That picture has not only been on this wall for two and a half months, it was on my wall at my old house before then for six months. So and I have 45 of them up there.

SPEAKER_06 18:00

So you said like a month ago, right? So that was about when we hit that cold spell.

SPEAKER_04 18:06

Yeah. Uh like I said, we're recording in my house. You never know what you're going to hear. Um I don't know if you guys heard that. Um, if you heard something in the audio, apparently something really cool happened upstairs in a video game. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 18:20

Uh but uh we we had that cold spell. Yeah. Right? And now it's cold again. We got in the it was low 40s last night. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 18:29

You think weather has something to do with it? No, not at all. So here's why I would like to agree with you, but here's why I say no. Because the the My house is the same temperature all the time.

SPEAKER_06 18:41

Right, but the humidity's different. I'll give you the humidity. Uh we we've been cold for a while. Yeah. But uh uh what's today? Today's today's Tuesday. Yeah. Uh Saturday, Sunday was high 80s, yeah, low 90s. Right? So that high temperature and then going right back to cold, making that that adhesive shrink up a little bit, could have made it fall. Again, logic, man. You know your house ain't haunted, dog.

SPEAKER_04 19:14

The temperature in my house didn't get up in the 90s, it stayed at 72.

SPEAKER_06 19:17

Humidity raises. You come on, we're both AC technicians.

SPEAKER_04 19:23

But it wasn't humid this weekend, it was just hot. You can't have hot without humidity. So, no, you can.

SPEAKER_06 19:29

Well, okay, you know, I'm sorry. You fucking lived in you lived in Vegas.

SPEAKER_05 19:33

I just can't just say you can't. I take that back. I didn't mean it. Well, fucking. I didn't mean to say that.

SPEAKER_04 19:40

You can't unsay things, sir. So if if I'm gonna regret that. If any of this were outside, I would agree with you. But it wasn't outside, it was all inside. And but my front door, I don't leave my fucking front door open. Usually when we come in and out, you're the only one who uses the front door. We all use the garage.

SPEAKER_06 19:59

Which I'm still annoyed that you don't have a keypad on the door to where I can get in. I don't have to wait for your ass to come to the door. Buy me one.

SPEAKER_04 20:05

You didn't wait today, you just walked in.

SPEAKER_06 20:07

Well, that's because it was unlocked. Yeah. Last week, it wasn't unlocked. I had to sit there and wait.

SPEAKER_04 20:12

You know how to get in the house if it's locked.

SPEAKER_06 20:14

Listen, you need a keypad for your front door. So I I would I don't think your house is haunted, bro.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

I think this is gonna be an up. I think there, I think there's there's there's evil afoot.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

There's something happening here.

SPEAKER_04 20:36

But alright, we're we're gonna get on. We're gonna keep moving on here. Um we're gonna do all right, hear me out. All right, hear me out. Fucking play it. Sorry. Do you have one or do you want me to do you want me to go first?

SPEAKER_06 21:01

You go ahead. All right. I have a question, but it's it it's it's not it. I don't think it's gonna be a long conversation.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

But we're you sound like you're struggling.

SPEAKER_06 21:09

Well, because I I'm gonna get shit for it, and I know it. You get shit for everything you say. Yeah, but I'm gonna get shit from a lot of other people because of this.

SPEAKER_04 21:18

I'm excited. Guys, talk shit to Ken.

SPEAKER_06 21:20

Please. I'm not even worried about them. I'm worried about people I know. They're gonna talk so much shit to me. Alright, so hear me out.

SPEAKER_04 21:29

Okay. Would you rather?

SPEAKER_06 21:32

Okay, come on. The last I've gotta stop letting you do these would you rathers because the last couple ones have been fucking weird.

SPEAKER_04 21:39

That's it. Sometimes they're fun, sometimes they're dark, sometimes they're both. Like if you know, if you want to come up with a better would you rather or alright, hear me out intro, I'll let you do it. But until then, you are at my mercy. So I have a question Would you rather what is it? Would you rather fight one drunk version of yourself every Friday? Night for the rest of your life. Drunk you every Friday, it's on.

SPEAKER_06 22:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 22:05

Or let your mom read your full internet history out loud at Thanksgiving. Oh, that's easy. I'm fighting myself. How can no? Okay, no. You picked that way too quickly. You you can't. How bad can your internet? It can't be that bad.

SPEAKER_06 22:25

Bro, we were teenage boys at once. We were teenage boys when the internet started. Yeah. Just imagine all of that being up for debate at your dinner table on Thanksgiving when your entire family, my four daughters, my two actually three nieces now. Um I have a I don't I don't I don't know what he would be. He's like sort of like my nephew, I guess. I don't know. You mean Mike's daughter's child? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:54

What would that be? That would be so Mike is your brother-in-law. Yeah. His daughter is your niece-in-law, technically. So that would technically be your great nephew.

unknown 23:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 23:07

I believe.

SPEAKER_06 23:08

Something like that. Yeah. So that's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_04 23:10

You're a great uncle, you old fuck. You're not even a great uncle. Like you're not a you're not a great uncle. You're just a great uncle. Like.

SPEAKER_06 23:23

Wait, no, I'm a great, I'm a great, like, I'm awesome.

SPEAKER_04 23:27

No, no, no. Great in this case meaning old. Well, I'm I'm taking it the other way. You take it, you take it a lot of ways, don't you? Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_06 23:34

Yeah. So we can't talk about stuff like that, man.

SPEAKER_04 23:37

I didn't God. I didn't think about that that idea that it's not just my mom that's there.

SPEAKER_06 23:44

No, you said at Thanksgiving. And is this every year at Thanksgiving? Because I just thought of something. So is it every year at Thanksgiving?

SPEAKER_04 23:53

I mean, it doesn't say every, but it does say at, so I think the fair assumption is every year. Okay. Because so yeah, because think about the question. If you have to fight your yourself every Friday, yeah, or your mom reads it at Thanksgiving, that's gotta be every year. It recurs. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_06 24:09

So then the first one would be the only bad one. Because the the ones after that you can explain, because all you gotta do is listen to our podcast. That was research for the podcast. Don't worry about that.

SPEAKER_04 24:24

But do you really think you can recover from that first year? I don't know. Because I got all girls in my family. You know what's worse? You know what I just thought about? And this is uh this is hey, you're getting thrown under this bus. You've been with Holly for how long?

SPEAKER_07 24:40

Why are you gonna put that on me like that?

SPEAKER_04 24:42

I'm just asking. Um, let's see, I've been with her since 2003. Okay. So that was like the internet didn't really get like popular until it was pretty popular 99, 2000. Uh I mean, I had a computer. Well, okay. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. But you weren't like looking stuff up on the internet, right? Like the internet was something that was there.

SPEAKER_06 25:03

Computers were there, but the internet was like the lime wire time, man, where you downloaded music. That was put in DVDs.

SPEAKER_04 25:10

Yeah, that was like 05.

SPEAKER_06 25:12

No, because I did it, I did it uh throughout my entire high school.

SPEAKER_04 25:17

If you're including my lime wire history, I'm out. That's part of your internet history, dog. If you're including my lime wire history, listen, my computer isn't the only one that got a virus, if you know what I mean. I was in high school just typing boobs into lime wire. Oh, that's so like. I think that would be that would be worse for you than for me, right? You would have some explaining to do because you've known Holly your entire adult life. Pretty much. I've only known Shay for the past few years of my adult.

SPEAKER_06 25:52

So wouldn't that say it'd be harder for you?

SPEAKER_04 25:55

Well, the internet history isn't coming with a timeline. And even if it does, my past two, three years are clear as far as anything incriminating is concerned. There's nothing there. Now, there may be some weird shit because my brain takes me on adventures, and sometimes I want to know questions to answers that nobody should ever ask. But I can explain that, like, hey, why don't I go because I'm fucking dumb. And you know, sometimes I want to know what happens if a polar bear fucks a rooster. You know, that's why. What? I just pulled something out of my ass. But that's something along like I I I would look up can roosters and polar bears have babies? I I would ask that question to Google.

SPEAKER_06 26:37

That's uh oh man. Nope. That you just opened a whole cane of worms. You don't want a rooster bear? No, a rooster bear? Rooster bear.

SPEAKER_04 26:48

Think about it. Think about a polar bear with a giant beak, like a polar bear-sized chicken.

SPEAKER_06 26:53

You're talking about a dinosaur now, huh?

SPEAKER_04 26:54

No, because it's a oh I mean it's just like maybe. Maybe maybe there used to be a rooster bear. Do you know rooster bear? Do you know what happens? So a female chicken's called a hen, right? I don't like where this is going.

SPEAKER_06 27:10

Well, we've lost the conversation.

SPEAKER_04 27:12

We'll get back, but do you know what happens when a rooster sees a lettuce patch or a hen sees a lettuce patch? A chicken sees her salad. Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 27:25

It's gotta stop. It's never gonna stop.

SPEAKER_04 27:29

I was I was actually gonna tell you that one wasn't even good. I was actually gonna tell you a different dad joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.

SPEAKER_06 27:39

That one got a smile out of me. That was a lot better than the chicken sees a salad.

SPEAKER_04 27:44

No, chicken sees her salad. Okay. Get it? Like her salad, chicken sees her.

SPEAKER_06 27:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so listen, what'd you rather? What what what would what are you gonna choose?

SPEAKER_04 27:52

I mean, so I know when I think like you have to fight a drunk version of yourself, right? Okay, I think you've been at the bar from eight o'clock at night to fucking two, three o'clock in the morning, like blackout drunk version of you. I've not been that way very many times. What I do know is I don't know that I could take me. Drunk me might whoop my ass. And like I'm confident in a fight. Like, I'm I'm not yeah, you're shorter than everybody, so you don't have to worry about it. It's me, it's my fucking height, dickhead.

SPEAKER_06 28:26

Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 28:27

What do you mean shorter? I'm not shorter than me. It's me here.

SPEAKER_06 28:34

Like, so that's so so what you're you're you're choosing your mom reading at Thanksgiving? I don't so I because you got Zoe. Now your mom, your sister will be there, but your sister and your mom are kind of you know, like you, they're a little weird.

SPEAKER_04 28:47

Yeah, my my my family, I could explain a lot of it away. My concerns are um let's say it's a thing. Shea's dad is 91. See, I think he would get it more than anybody.

SPEAKER_06 29:01

Oh, or well, no, maybe even if he would get it, it doesn't mean it's a conversation I want to have. He like fully old school? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:09

Is he fully old school? He's not so he he doesn't swear around Shay or his girlfriend.

SPEAKER_06 29:16

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 29:16

But when he gets in the car with me, he lets it go.

SPEAKER_06 29:19

So, okay. So in front of everybody, he's gonna look down on you. Hardcore look down on you.

SPEAKER_04 29:28

Well, once the door goes, you might be together, he's gonna be like, Okay, so I got some questions. Yeah, good shit, dog. Like, he's gonna give you some love for it. So I but then again, man, like so when I was in high school, man, like me and my butt. Do you remember Faces of Death? It sounds familiar. So back when the internet first started, when it was first born, and there was like E like how you did Born, yeah. When there was like E Bomb's world and all that, Faces of Death was the gnarliest, nastiest, most gruesome stuff, like live beheadings and like Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got you. We used to look that up for fun and laugh about it. Right. So I don't know that I want the exact history of the stuff that I would chuckle about with my friends. I had a I had a dark childhood. I had a very dark childhood, very dark teenage years. Like, to be honest, you're lucky I'm here. So, like, I I don't know that I would want that. I might just fight myself and hope I live. But I mean, I guess best case scenario.

SPEAKER_06 30:36

But you've also got to be careful fighting, right? Because you have uh I don't know if you want to give something away.

SPEAKER_04 30:44

No, I don't, but I know yes. Yeah, you can't get hit in a certain spot. I have a secret spot that could immediately hospitalize me. Yes. If you if you hit me in one place the wrong way. Ooh, drunk me knows me. Well, these, I guess, shoot drunk me in the face. I mean, you just can shoot in the face every Friday? He comes back?

SPEAKER_06 31:05

If if he if if it's if if this is every Friday, then yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

So wait, I can't so it's every Friday, whether I win, lose, or draw, he keeps coming back. Right. No what? Then set that seven o'clock alarm, motherfucker. I'm ready. He he materializes, bang, back to your regularly scheduled programming. Like, whatever.

SPEAKER_06 31:25

You're gonna have to move out in the country because you can't be shooting in the city like that.

SPEAKER_04 31:30

Does he show up in the same spot? I don't know, you're getting technical now. Because if I know where he's coming from, he goes, cram it to the throat.

SPEAKER_06 31:43

Imagine us doing that every Friday.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

Like that's I mean, that would take its own toll on you.

SPEAKER_06 31:50

Because it's not just anybody, it's yourself. You get to look at yourself bleeding out on the ground.

SPEAKER_04 31:54

And if I kill him, does does the bodies I can only hide so many bodies here, dude? Oh, me and Shay. I don't know if I should say this out loud.

SPEAKER_06 32:03

Whoa, you just transferred from that's a lot of bodies to bury to something exciting.

SPEAKER_04 32:07

We were we were going for a walk the other day, and I got to talking. I'm like, you know, I think if we ever had to bury a body, the lake behind our house is the best place to do it. It's got gators. It has gators, yeah. It's got no current, it's a man-made lake, and there's never there's no boats out there, there's no people out there. A lot of back doors that's facing that way. That's the only downfall there is getting out there discreetly. But if you could get out there discreetly and weight the body properly, no one'll ever find that page. I don't know. Yeah, we so that that was just a fun comment. So I say that to say, if I have to hide the body of the me that I kill every week, I'm going to jail, man.

SPEAKER_06 32:51

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 32:52

I can only hide so many bodies.

SPEAKER_06 32:54

For sure.

SPEAKER_04 32:55

Alright. I know, I know you have something, and I don't know that I want to hear it, but I'm gonna hear you out anyway.

SPEAKER_06 33:02

Well no, so like, so what you say, you're you're choosing the to I'm gonna fight myself.

SPEAKER_04 33:08

You're gonna fight yourself. I'm gonna I'm I'm I'm gonna have to fight myself and we're gonna hope for the best here because I don't Oh, yeah, it's so I got a question.

SPEAKER_06 33:16

It gonna help me answer mine. Uh what age am I fighting me? It's so is it when I'm 60 years old, am I still fighting a 30-year-old or what you as you wake up that morning?

SPEAKER_04 33:29

Okay, so it'd be a 60-year-old fighting a 60-year-old. It's a carbon copy of you. It's a clone of you as you woke up that morning just shit housed.

SPEAKER_03 33:39

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 33:41

Because like, and what what it comes down to too, yeah. Is I I've got I've got Zoe, and I could not raise her in the way that I want to raise her. Well her knowing what you searched, while also not being a hypocrite. Yeah. If she knew what kind of actual childhood that I had, it's funny. Zoe just texted me right now. I always check in case it is her. Yeah. Even if we're recording like some shit comes first. Yeah, yeah. And I know she's about to start a dad joke because she just texts me and goes, Hey dad, friends are like snowflakes. And I guess see bubbles, so I know there's a punchline coming.

SPEAKER_06 34:22

Oh man. So am I gonna have my mom read my internet history or am I gonna fight myself? Uh let's hear the punchline.

SPEAKER_02 34:33

Sorry, I didn't. Let's hear it. She's my child. She goes, hey dad. Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them, they disappear.

SPEAKER_07 34:47

I think you will be fine with your daughter hearing your internet history because she's already turning into you. Oh man, I'm crying.

SPEAKER_04 34:58

And then she sent me this picture. Oh shit, uh, it won't open, but you can.

SPEAKER_06 35:07

Oh, I think I'm gonna have to fight myself, bro. I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that. Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to fight myself.

SPEAKER_04 35:15

I mean, at least you know what you're up against, right? Like you, you know. And like, I mean, you could wake up in the morning and break your own ankle and then like know that you have the advantage because you already know your ankle is broken. When this thing materializes, it it tends to step on two feet and crumbles. You can kick them right in the teeth.

SPEAKER_06 35:32

Yeah, I don't know. I I think that would have to be my choice, though. I don't think I'd be able to uh I got too many people that would uh I would get the stink on from the you've got a lot of moving parts here, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:43

More than I do for sure.

SPEAKER_06 35:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 35:45

Alright, so what do what do I have to hear you out on?

SPEAKER_06 35:48

Okay, so listen, hear me out. All right. In the military, okay. Uh you know I can't relate to anything. Right, no, no. I'm gonna it's okay. It's okay. In the military, in basic training, you have a row of urinals, right? And each front of each urn Wait, are they are they all are they automatic?

SPEAKER_04 36:09

Do they flush on their own? Or do you have no or do they have the sensor?

SPEAKER_06 36:12

And they have to be cleaned too.

SPEAKER_04 36:13

Yeah, but do they have the sensor?

SPEAKER_06 36:14

No. Oh, okay, never mind. No. Um, so they have these posters in front of them. Okay and it has shades of color. And the shades of colour is the collar of your pee. If it's and it says if it's this collar, you are not drinking enough water, you have to drink more water. And it's basically to try to keep everybody hydrated. Like I used to get in trouble all the time because you know, I'm from Florida, so I'm used to the heat, and basic training was in Texas. Right. So a lot of people from up north, they're they weren't used to that, and they would fall out, pass out. So one of the rules, one of the things that we had to do, um, either before a run or after a run, depends on the the time, uh, our TI would make us take out our canteens, hold them out, and flip them upside down. And if you had more than just a little bit of water coming out, you'd get in a lot of trouble. Well, I was always getting in trouble because I didn't drink that much because I, you know, I felt like I didn't need to. Okay. So what when you pee, is your pee always clear, or is it like because when I pee most of the time, my pee is is like a dark yellow. So it but yesterday I peed and it for some reason was crystal clear. And that usually only happens when I'm drunk. And I didn't drink yesterday. Or not didn't get drunk yesterday. So it was very weird for me to see. So, like, what color pee do you pee?

SPEAKER_04 37:38

Did did you Google this before you brought it to my attention?

SPEAKER_05 37:42

I didn't Google nothing.

SPEAKER_04 37:43

You realize that dark yellow means you're dehydrated, right? Does it though?

SPEAKER_06 37:52

Yes, because listen, no, hold on, listen, it can't mean you're just dehydrated. Yes, right, because I drink throughout the whole day. Water? No. Gatorade? No. Okay, but listen, monsters, red bulls, um, you got uh uh uh you know soda. I'm hydrated. That's not hydration, it is hydration, it is liquid going into my body. If I drink beer all day, does that mean that I'm drinking healthy and hydrated? Dude, when I drink beer all day, my piss is fucking crystal clear.

SPEAKER_04 38:26

Okay, I mean that's a fair argument, but it didn't work.

SPEAKER_06 38:28

So that was a terrible point for you to try to make.

SPEAKER_04 38:30

So no, if you were to drink like water or Gatorade all day, you would also have clear urine.

SPEAKER_06 38:38

When when when I'm all day, every day. I don't mean sometimes. No, no, no. Listen, when me and my wife go on our diet, which right now we're not on it. Right. Okay, right now we're not on it. We've been on it for you know a while, but uh the the last couple days uh we had some things to where we just couldn't eat healthy, so we just ate. We changed up. Uh, we're going back on it next week. But uh uh when I'm on the diet, I only drink water, and I hate drinking water, so I drink I put flavoring in it. Right. But I only drink water, and my piss is still not clear.

SPEAKER_04 39:10

How much water do you drink every day?

SPEAKER_06 39:13

Uh I don't know. Like I have a uh uh what do you call it? Like a uh a yeti? I have a yeti.

SPEAKER_04 39:20

Okay, so those how many of those do you drink every day?

SPEAKER_06 39:26

Maybe one and a half, maybe.

SPEAKER_04 39:28

Do you put ice in it?

SPEAKER_06 39:30

No, I don't have an ice baker. Remember, we talked about this.

SPEAKER_04 39:33

You drink You drink one yeti of water every day. That's 32 ounces.

SPEAKER_06 39:38

Well, because normally in the morning, it doesn't matter. No, hold on. Normally in the morning, I even when I'm on my diet, I still start my day with an energy drink of some kind. I've got two a day down by 9 a.m. every day. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:49

Then I drink water.

SPEAKER_06 39:51

Okay, so I I drink my monster or Red Bull, whichever one it's gonna be that morning. And then when I get home, I start drinking water. When I'm at work, I don't really drink anything. I have a 40-ounce unless it's like stupid hot, and then I'll drink like Gatorades.

SPEAKER_04 40:05

I have a 40-ounce jug of water on my nightstand right now. And as soon as I walk in the door every day, I grab it, I fill it, I drink on it all day long. I drink over at night when I wake up and I drink water during the day. You should be drinking between three-quarters to a gallon of water a day. A gallon of water is 128. It's not 128 ounces a gallon. Four of your cups is one gallon, two of your cups is half a gallon. You're drinking a quarter of a gallon of water every day and wondering why you have dark, cloudy pee pee. I didn't say it was cloudy. It's just I sometimes it's cloudy. So to answer the question, you're wrong. But I want to go back on something here.

SPEAKER_06 40:43

You said what am I wrong on? You didn't even say what I was wrong on.

SPEAKER_04 40:46

Uh drink more water and don't be a douche. Um, so you said that in the military they have these pictures in front of the urinals. It reminded me of something that I saw in a bar one time. Now I was at I was in a bar at a urinal and I'm peeing, and there's a picture in front of me. It's got a picture of a girl, and it says, eyes front, straight ahead, no looking anywhere else. Can you think of a better advertisement? Call this number to advertise here.

SPEAKER_05 41:15

That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_04 41:17

That's pretty good. I'm like, the girl gets your attention, right? Because you know, you're in a bar and your dick's in your hand, and then you read and you're like, oh, you tricky motherfucker. That's good. That's good. Like, I actually kind of want to do that. Um, all right, so we're gonna move on to we did your hear me out. I've got I've got something I want you to hear. All right. I know you don't know what we're getting into yet, but um I guess I'm question for you. Okay. Are you shitting me?

SPEAKER_05 41:50

Are you shitting me? Fucking play it.

SPEAKER_04 42:03

So I'm not I'm not going to tell you the news article, right? I'm gonna show you the picture of the man. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna tell you where he was from. Okay. I'm gonna give you one clue as to what happened. And I want to see if you can guess what's going on here. Okay, that's uh that's a hard like how am I supposed to do that off?

SPEAKER_06 42:33

That's the man. We could show this too? We will show this. Okay, alright, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:39

He's from Kentucky.

SPEAKER_06 42:42

Okay, that's that that opens the variety even more. Okay, did you know I live I that's probably not the best time to say this. I lived in Kentucky for a little bit. You probably know this guy. You probably I lived there in a little bit of elementary school, so uh, he was your teacher. Probably I probably lived there for two or three years. Yeah, then I moved to Florida.

SPEAKER_04 43:07

And it's gotta do with an animal.

SPEAKER_06 43:10

Okay, three did he fuck an animal.

SPEAKER_04 43:14

Yeah, I I yes, but there's so much more than that.

SPEAKER_06 43:19

Okay, people love fucking goats. Fucking what? Goats. What? Goats! Oh god, that was so loud. I'm so sorry for you to hear that.

SPEAKER_05 43:32

Oh, that was so loud.

SPEAKER_06 43:33

So it wasn't, but it's in Kentucky. He did fuck an animal, it wasn't a goat. Uh something weird, I'm guessing, right? Uh like a llama, maybe, or something.

SPEAKER_04 43:45

No, not a llama. Okay. Which again, you say llama, I think alpaca, like alpaca.

SPEAKER_06 43:51

Those are actually two different animals. But they're they're very closely related.

SPEAKER_04 43:54

They are. All right, so Henderson, Kentucky.

SPEAKER_06 43:58

Henderson. I don't even know.

SPEAKER_04 44:00

The Kentucky man was arrested after he allegedly engaged in sexual activity with a deceased animal. No Alan Osborne was taken into custody after he allegedly engaged in sexual relations with a dead deer. Oh, it's gonna get worse before it gets better. How can it get much worse? When speaking with the outlet, the Central City PD said that a man was driving through an area in Muhlenburg County when he noticed a man allegedly engaged in sexual intercourse with a deer on the side of the road.

SPEAKER_06 44:44

Oh, dude, so it's like a fucked up deer, too.

SPEAKER_04 44:48

It was then called 911 per the report. When law enforcement arrived on the scene, they reportedly found Osborne covered in deer fur and blood, according to the outlet. Wow. He was arrested and charged with sexual crimes against animals.

SPEAKER_06 45:05

Now So it what is that? Like it uh when you when like there's people that like fuck dead bodies, right? Was that necro Necrophilia? Necrophilia. Uh is that does animals count towards that?

SPEAKER_04 45:20

Or is that that's he wasn't charged with necrophilia? That's a dark part of the internet that I haven't even discovered. I don't know the answer to that question. But here's so here, first of all, what is happening to this world? The weird charge there is sexual crimes against animals, because technically the animal's dead. I think they're just looking for something to charge him with, and they're like, ah, that sticks. Yeah. But also, what kind of man are you that not only do you want to fuck a deer? Okay. No, no, so back up, not only do you want to fuck an animal, not only do you want that animal to be a deer, but you're just driving down the road and you're like, that'll do. Right now, you pull over and do it in public. Just on the side of the road, just plowing dough.

SPEAKER_06 46:08

I mean, fucking, what's his name? Uh something green. Tom Green? Tom Green. Didn't he go fucking jack off a horse on the side of the road? That was in a movie.

SPEAKER_04 46:18

That was in a movie called Freddy Got Fingered.

SPEAKER_05 46:20

Um I forgot that that was a movie.

SPEAKER_04 46:22

That was such an incredible. I've got a story about that movie. I'll tell you some sausage. Remember how I told you, like some sausage. Remember how I told you about my childhood was shaped by some shitty things? That movie is one of the things that shaped my childhood.

SPEAKER_06 46:37

It shaped your childhood. That's not a good movie to have shape your childhood.

SPEAKER_04 46:41

So we used to have a buddy, his name was John. Um, John's mom was a character, she had some health issues, she had some, she had some stuff going on. Okay. Um, and we were upstairs in almost like the loft I have here. He had one of those upstairs. All right. And we were playing airsoft in his house, denting up the walls, like going nuts. And we were kids, and John had, you know, he didn't really have a lot of respect for his mom at the time. Okay. And she and John's mom is blind in one eye. And she comes upstairs and she's like, You guys need to stop right now. And John goes, Fucking why? She goes, Because this isn't safe. And he goes, What's not safe about it? She goes, Look at me, John. Do you want to end up like me with her one blind eye? And Wes pops around the corner with goggles on and goes, but we're wearing goggles. Oh god. And then Dude, when I was a kid, she called his John's brother up there. And John's brother walks in to get he's an older brother to get us all out, and Wes goes, I'm not going with him. I'm not going with him. And she goes, Why? He goes, Because he fingered me behind the furnace, which is the line. And John's mom goes, What?

SPEAKER_01 48:08

We have a furnace.

SPEAKER_05 48:11

That's the part she freaks out about is the furnace.

SPEAKER_06 48:17

Yo, all seriousness though, when I was a kid, uh, it was actually in Kentucky. I had a BB gun and I knew how to shoot. I knew to make sure it was unloaded, and I I made sure I dumped everything out of the butt stock, right?

SPEAKER_04 48:31

Right.

SPEAKER_06 48:31

Uh, and I shook it. I knew nothing was loaded. Um, what I didn't know that there was one stuck in the barrel. Yep. And me and my buddy were playing, and I pointed at him, pulled the trigger, right? I was in elementary school. Okay, so I wasn't like and it shot him right underneath his eyeball. Damn. I freaked the fuck out. He freaked the fuck out. Mom came running up the stairs, freaked the fuck out. I had to run and go get his older brother because his older brother was the one that was watching him right now. And so I had to go tell him. Luckily, they went to the hospital and they were able to remove it, and it didn't damage anything. It was literally the most luckiest shot you could do without getting hurt. Right. I literally shot it and it just hit it uh ripped his uh uh eyelashes back into his his eye socket and just went underneath his eyeball.

SPEAKER_04 49:27

Did you ever hear the story about the I got my ass whooped for that, by the way.

SPEAKER_06 49:32

There was a kid this was that was back when I got my ass beat maybe ten years ago.

SPEAKER_04 49:38

There was a kid who accidentally killed his friend with an airsoft gun. Now I don't know. I don't remember the exact details of the story, but I think I'm pretty close. Um they had an airsoft gun and they were they were joking around, right? And his dad had guns and he put a nine millimeter cartridge, a whole a whole round, into the airsoft gun barrel, right? Pretending it was a real gun. And he and he went up to his buddies like, Do you feel lucky, punk? Do you? And they were laughing and joking, and he pulled the trigger on the airsoft gun, and the airsoft BB struck the primer and ignited and like made the round go off. So you're talking about like a BB gun? Well, no, like an airsoft gun, but a like a high quality, high-end airsoft gun, right?

SPEAKER_06 50:27

Damn, I didn't think you could fit rounds like nine mils and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 50:31

It may have been a 380 or a 22, right? It was I'm saying I told you parts of these details might be off, but the brunt of it is he put a normal round in an airsoft gun, and the airsoft BB hit the primer and made it go off. I heard it a long, long, long time ago. It's crazy. So back on topic here. Um, what kind of man are you to just like just give into your base dudes? We want to fucking kim like you want to come in it. You're coming in. Uh, I try to be careful using too much from them here.

SPEAKER_06 51:08

Yeah, so i i if you if you guys don't know, that's part of a podcast that we listen to. Yeah, and we're not stealing. It's not it's just funny.

SPEAKER_04 51:14

Yeah, if we just have different things that we've heard them say, like last episode when we were talking about the uh how about we've got a podcast that we listen to, and there are certain lines and things and inside jokes from that podcast that have made their they've made their way into our everyday vocabulary that now we can't help it, and it comes out on here. It's more of a place of homage than like theft.

SPEAKER_06 51:38

Like for some reason at their that episode, I got like a burst of energy. You and uh your house last year. Oh, yeah, I know, yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_04 51:46

I got full of so but just be like driving down the road or walking on the road and just give in to I'm a fuck that deer. Like, so alright. Segway, here's a fun one. Have you given any thought to what happens when you die? Not like what happens when you die, but to you, to your body, like, do you care cremation burial, anything like that?

SPEAKER_06 52:13

Uh I I think I want to be buried. Do you? I do. Uh Holly used to feel the same way, but I think she's more leaning towards cremation now. Okay. Um, but the the thing that I, you know, so like the thing that I I look at is if you're cremated, I don't want my kids to feel like they have to be obligated to keep that with them or you know, or carry it around. I I don't want that. That's just weird. I want them to let go and move on. So I think being buried, they can let go and move on, but then there's still a location that they can go to to still, you know, feel like maybe they're with me or whatever, even though I'm not there. Right. Whatever.

SPEAKER_04 52:53

But then don't you feel like they're kind of stuck like if they want to feel like they're with their dad or have a part of the that they have to go to you instead of just like having you in a locket or on the earth like on the mantle or something where they can be like, hey, that's here.

SPEAKER_06 53:10

That's fine. And I don't, you know, I don't want that anybody.

SPEAKER_04 53:12

What about notification, right? Do you care Notification? Like, do you do you care if it's published in the newspaper? Do you want if it's social media? Like, do you care how people find out that you die?

SPEAKER_06 53:24

I don't care if if people never find out that I died. It's fine. Yeah, whatever. The people that are gonna be close to me is gonna be the people that need to know, and that's all I care about.

SPEAKER_04 53:33

I saw this and I thought, this is something I would do. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 53:37

Okay. It's an article. That can go in so many different directions.

SPEAKER_04 53:40

Uh it's not gonna be as bad as you think it is. It's an article titled Bright Idea, right? Okay. A former college design professor, Don Glickman, was 93 and dying when he and his daughter.

SPEAKER_06 53:52

What do you think with like a the tree barrel where they turn into a tree or something?

SPEAKER_04 53:55

No, no, no, not trees. Exactly 180 degrees. Um, he and his daughter, they uh they actually killed trees to make this happen. When he and his daughter discussed how he wanted to be memorialized. The Spokane Spokesman Review reported on February 9th that Leah Glickman said her father faces fate head on. We never used words in our house like he passed, she said. We always said he died. No one gets out of here alive. She and her dad came up with a clever idea. Dude, they're some creepy folk. Never get out of here alive. I mean, no one gets out of life alive. Oh, that's just a weird saying. You do you you don't get out of life alive. Everybody dies at some point. I get it. So she and her dad came up with a clever idea. Send out postcards to family and friends announcing his death. On the front is a photo of Glickman and the text, if you're reading this, I'm dead, and I really liked you. With a with a small sketch of him that had become his own personal signature. On the back, Leo wrote, After 94 years on this planet, my dad has departed, and a last act of design and Glickman ethos. He asked that his postcard be created, photo and text chosen by him and mailed out. Glickman died on November 11th, and former student Jason Snape got a postcard and made me laugh really hard because this was just so him. It's unusual, it's sweet, and it's straightforward.

SPEAKER_02 55:16

I'm like, that's actually pretty cool.

SPEAKER_04 55:18

Like, I guess. Like I don't know. I want my death to be like a party. I want my death to be a celebration. I don't want, but you have to have the right kind of people to do that. Like, if I told Shay, like, hey, listen, when I die, what I want you to do is write out all these hilarious postcards and send them to all of them. Exactly, right? Uh you you would think that, but he wouldn't be able to do it either. I think my best bet would be my sister. Okay. My sister would probably be the one who'd be like, still a fucking dickhead. Yeah, I'll send out your postcards. Right? Like that that would be the way to get it done.

SPEAKER_06 55:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 55:58

But I don't think I I don't think I could get anybody else like in my circle in my life to do it for me at all.

SPEAKER_06 56:06

That's it's different for sure. Not so much. I thought it was cool as shit. It's not uh like uh, you know, um it and it's not a normal thing.

SPEAKER_04 56:18

Yeah, no, it's definitely out of the ordinary.

SPEAKER_06 56:22

Alright, are you shitting me? Right? Okay, I'm it's not a bad one, it's not a weird one. Is what it does, is it just shows what is happening to our humanity and how many pussies and uh the people that want to sue over everything is becoming.

unknown 56:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 56:44

I feel like a lot of people a lot of lawsuits are frivolous, right? They're just bullshit.

SPEAKER_06 56:50

Well, yeah, like like like this kind of falls a line falls along the line of the old one that happened forever ago with McDonald's, the the hot coffee.

SPEAKER_04 56:58

Oh yeah, she she ordered a coffee and sued McDonald's because it burned her lap.

SPEAKER_06 57:03

Right.

SPEAKER_04 57:04

It's a hot coffee coffee.

SPEAKER_06 57:05

I don't even think I don't think there was really i iced coffee was a thing back then. Yeah, that was back in the 90s. Like, did you fucking think it was gonna be lukewarm? Like, what what did you think? What did you expect, right? Okay, so it kind of falls along those lines. Okay. Okay. Red Bull.

SPEAKER_04 57:23

Don't don't what? Keep going.

SPEAKER_06 57:29

They have a slogan. Mother. Everybody knows their slogan.

SPEAKER_04 57:36

Red Bull gives you wings. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:38

Red Bull gives you wings. You know, stuff like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 57:42

Don't please don't please don't tell me this is what I think it is. Oh, it is.

SPEAKER_06 57:48

They settled for this class action. So that means more than one person was doing it. Okay. There was a group of them. And Red Bull Red Bull actually settled a class action lawsuit for false advertising regarding Red Bull gives you wings slogan. And do you want to know how much they settled for? $13 million.

SPEAKER_04 58:16

13 Alright, so I'm gonna go ahead and say it right now. If you would have told me a year and a half ago that I could make $13 million by drinking a Red Bull and jumping off my roof, we'd be in a very different situation, bro. Are you fucking 13 million? Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_06 58:31

Uh for being too dumb not to read. That Red Bull's marketing promised enhanced physical and mental performance.

SPEAKER_04 58:39

This makes me so angry. This makes me so like, are you you can't be, you know. This is a cash grab. It's gotta be, right? There's no way that they actually like believe what they're this is just Oh no, this is just people trying to figure out a way to get money.

SPEAKER_06 58:56

Right. Who's got a dump slogan that we can say? They don't want to work, they don't know how to get a job, they don't know how to keep a job, they don't know how to deal with people. So what they do is they find things that they could sue people over with.

SPEAKER_04 59:07

You know what? Here's here's how I feel about this. Um, euthanasia. Euthanasia is the fancy term for putting a dog down. Okay. These people should be euthanized.

SPEAKER_06 59:19

You're saying that, right?

SPEAKER_04 59:20

Euthanasia. You you you you euthanize a dog via euthanasia. Yes. These people should be euthanized because either way, they don't deserve to be here. If they're dumb enough to think that they were actually gonna fucking fly, dead. Bro, do you if they're if they're if they don't think they could actually fly and they're just doing it to make money off the backs of other people, dead. Like, take them out, give them the shot.

SPEAKER_06 59:42

I'll shoot them myself. Dude, with how many Red Bulls I've drinked in my life. I could be fucking anywhere I wanted to be. You'd have so many.

SPEAKER_04 59:54

Think about the American Airlines miles you have right now. Oh my god. Like, no, no, get rid of them. I want them gone. Get them gone. Get rid of them right now. I don't want him here.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:05

Get nope, no, thank you.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:06

We'll go ahead and push past that one. Okay. Okay. And I used push past for a reason. Okay. Alright. Worlds get uh what is it called? Guinness Book of World. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. There's some crazy shit on there.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:29

Oh, yeah, for sure. Like a whole bunch of shit. I used I used to read those books when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:33

I'm talking about literal shit though. The length of turds.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:40

Oh, I I own that. I hold that for sure. I know I do. You think you own that? I know I do. Really? Fuck at least 15 inches, bro. Like, to the point where I I I had somebody else come look at it. I'm like, bro, Colin. Tell me. Yeah. I'm like, dude, there's no way. I'm like, look at this thing. Like it was it was impressive. It was a work of art. It was a work of fart.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:06

Okay, so I could tell you that you do not own the record.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:08

I'm calling shenanigans right now. If I shenanig was, I'll shenanigan. Go fuck yourself. I don't own the record.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:15

What do you think the world record is?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:18

Me. 15 to 18 inches.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:20

15 to 18 inches.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:22

Yes, that's uh I own. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:24

So let's go with an astronomical number then. Let's just guess an astronomical number that you think, no way that that's talking about length of fecal matter.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:33

Three feet.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:34

Solid length. No brakes. Three feet. One solid length. Three feet. Three feet. Okay, I said astronomical.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:41

And I said three feet.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:42

And I'm saying out of this world, astronomical.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:48

Fifty feet?

SPEAKER_06 1:01:50

How big?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:50

Fifty.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:51

Fifty? Okay, so it's not fifty. Okay. Let's let's you know what? Let's let's say half that.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:58

20 so 25 feet.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:01

26 feet long.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:04

There's no fucking way. Your intestines aren't even 26 feet. How do you no? There's no way.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:10

Your intestines sound like a smart one here because I looked it up. It's 20 to 30 feet long.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:18

So he's got this guy had to he was literally full of shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:22

Yeah. What I want to know is how the fuck did they measure it? Was this guy sitting in a fucking shopping basket with hole cotton through it, and they're just pushing him along as he's so alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:40

So I take that. You know, my brain takes me on adventures.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:44

Here's where I go to. I just got out of college, right? I start my first day at my new job. My new job is Guinness Book of World Records. I show up. Oh, this is your first time. And I'm ready. And my boss is like, Ryan, I'm glad to have you on the team. I'm so excited you're here. We've got a story we've never seen before. This could be record-breaking. This might be one of the craziest things we've ever seen, and I want you to cover it. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm on it. Where am I going? He goes, You're going to Indiana. Your flight leaves in three hours. You get in a plane and you go to Indiana. You meet the guy, and they're like, Yeah, I'm Ryan from the Guinness Book of World Records. I'm I'm I'm here to do some verification measurements. And they're like, Oh, it's you.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:32

You know what you just signed up for?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:33

I'm like, yeah, so uh, what's our record here?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:37

Well, buddy, I'm about to take the world's longest shit. I'm sorry, what? Come again? Like, you're gonna like take the most amount of time? Uh-uh. Get your tape measure, pal.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:48

Like, like did they do it on a fucking football field? Like, what did they do it on?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:53

Where else can they do it? Just imagine how it starts in the end zone and works for dude. So imagine how he felt.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:04

Oh, you before or after? Both. Both. Before. How much weight do you think he lost? I don't actually call it.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:13

I've tried weighing myself before and after, but it won't really read that much.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:17

Oh, dude, so so the the biggest poop I've ever taken is 1.8 pounds.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:23

Okay, so just imagine that had to be right. So it had to be 20 times that. 20, 25 times that.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:29

If you really want to see something funny, weigh yourself before and after you pee.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:34

Oh, yeah, because yeah, you lose like two and a half pounds every time you sometimes when I piss, dude, I'm pissing a fucking gallon.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:39

You remember? You know what?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:41

A gallon is eight pounds.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:42

Do you remember that um years ago we went to that comedy show? I think it was Dan Cummins we went to. Um we went to Dan Cummins and we're driving back, and I'm like, dude, stopping. I need to use the bathroom right now. I like forced Holly to pull over. Like, I need to go. Yeah. And we go to the bathroom, and I step in, I use the toilet, and you use the urinal. And so I'm in there.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:08

I forgot about this. I just stall right next to the urinal.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:14

And so I'm in the stall and I start peeing. And you can when you pee in a urinal or in a toilet, you can hear the water hitting, right? So I start peeing, you pee, you stop, and you go to wash your hands, and I'm still peeing. And at the same time, we both just start laughing. Because how does one person urinate for this long? I I won that it was a solid 90 seconds, I think. Oh yeah, dude. I won the record there. If there was a record to win, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:41

I'm sure you didn't because you didn't think a fucking shit record would be 26 feet long.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:46

So we're gonna we're gonna move on. I have a question for you. When you're not not dieting, right? Just just hungry, wanna you know, I'll flip it around because it makes dieting. Okay. You're hungry, you want to snack, you go to the fridge. What's the first? If I'm on my diet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm eating. I'm eating like low sugar, low carb right now. Peanut butter is usually my number one. Peanut butter. Okay. No, no, like pepperoni, no.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:10

No. Tuna. Some t my wife will make actually, you know, she'll make, I guess, tuna uh I don't know what it is. It's something with tuna in it. But also they have those packs now, too, like honey barbecue tuna. Oh, those are so. I'll eat those. I forgot about those. I'll eat those too. Take into those with a fork. Yeah, same here.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:27

So all right. Um episode one, you did something to me.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:33

Is this what's in your fucking cooler? Listen, I didn't plan on eating anything today.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:38

Episode one, you did something to me. You called it what's in the box. I did. I'm gonna introduce you to my favorite snack right now. Your favorite snack.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:46

My favorite snack. So it's not a bad thing. No.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:49

I mean, well, uh I eat it cold. I don't think from what I know, you're not a huge fan of these cold. Most people are not. Most people here I eat them cold, but here, I'll show you. Okay. How do you think about hot dogs, buddy?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:14

How do you feel about dude?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:15

Why do you have a are they regular hot dogs? Oh no, bro. These are them cheese dogs, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:19

Cheese dogs. Oh, like they have the cheese inside of them? No, I know. Uh, so I I'll I I eat cold hot dogs. It's not a bad thing. Wait, but hold you eat cold hot dogs? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:33

Why'd you drop it? You just ruined my entire Did you think I didn't like them?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:38

Yes. So you're this was gonna be a punishment.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:41

This was gonna be like the jelly beans. Yeah, I thought you didn't like cold hot dogs. No. And I love cold hot dogs.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:48

So I was gonna I I don't know if I I don't know if I'm not a big fan of the cheese hot dogs.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:53

That's a little bit of a what's like are you fucking dude? So this last night I so I went outside and for I went out to the kitchen and I wanted to get a snack, and I I'm out there for like 90 seconds maybe. And I come and I come back into the bedroom and I'm chewing, and Shay goes, What are you what are you chewing on? I thought you were eating a snack. I said, I did. She goes, What did you eat? I said, Would you judge me if I told you I've I've eaten two hot dogs since you saw me last?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:27

Two hot dogs? Oh yeah. So oh you just stuffed them, you just fucking swallowed them whole.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:32

Virtually, yes. That's if I'm gonna eat a cold hot dog, that's how I'm gonna eat it. Yeah. Okay. So ready? Oh, you're gonna it's gay.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:40

You're eating a hot dog on the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:42

It's gay if you just like take little bites, you just walk around. You guys have that.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:48

Oh my god. Uh uh, for for uh it's gone.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:59

Oh yeah, gone. You want one? You want a hot dog?

SPEAKER_06 1:09:02

Okay, for uh for those that's not watching a video uh the of the podcast and you're just listening to audio, Ryan just took a hot dog, took it about halfway into his mouth, took he just did another one. Okay, so this time he didn't eat he stuck it three-quarters in a way in his mouth, bite once and then bit the rest, and then now it's pretty much gone. You yeah. You just ate the second one faster than you ate the first one. And there why why do you Okay. I had I have more questions than I want answered.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:47

You look like the kind of guy who gives the hot dog a little kiss on the tip before you take a bite. You you hold it and you're like boom.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:58

Give him a little nose pop.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:03

Like, I at least get after it, right? I'm gonna there's nothing dainty about it. I'm just I'm here for one thing and it's because I'm hungry. I'm not gonna like take little nibbles and you keep bringing that thing to my face. Uh-uh, I'm taking a bite and it's done. There's nothing attractive. No. No. No, you just did it on video. It is nauseating and animalistic the way I eat hot dogs. Absolutely. 100%. I bet you I bet you I can eat a hot dog faster than you. Uh I bet I get you. I bet you can. I bet you I've got that world record.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:38

Oh, I doubt that. Because some of those dudes do those contests. Oh, like that fucking little Asian guy who wiggles. Dude, they fuck oh.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:46

I forgot about that guy.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:48

He fucking hot dogs wall as well wiggles and tried to wiggle it down his intestines work.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:53

Dude, they eat like 27 hot dogs in a competition. Oh, yeah, but then they ended up puking almost all of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:58

See, I'm not gonna do that because I love hot dogs. I mean, you only don't. I got I gotta have another half pack in there. I'll show you a magic trick, son.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:10

So uh so that was that was your uh your shot, huh? Yeah, you uh you I so you just ate a wee full hot dog with cheese in it. Cheese dog's the best dog. You you you just love things that are stuffed with other things.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:28

You particularly.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:29

Yeah, hey, I I got you good. Listen, no, I don't want you no, no, I just seen how you just scarfed the hot dog down. You're not getting your teeth anywhere near me. Well, you fucking stuck that whole thing in your mouth, bit it, and then ate the last piece like it was fucking nothing. Yeah, and then you chew like three times and it's gone. I eat with purpose. That's that's no, that's not that's not a purpose eating, okay? A purposeful eating. I need it.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:58

I need a yes or no question right now. All everything else aside, are you impressed? Yes or no, are you impressed? Yes and no, I guess. Yes or no. Are you impressed?

SPEAKER_06 1:12:15

Honestly, with me knowing you, I'm kind of shocked that I haven't seen this before. So I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna probably just go ahead and say no. I'm not impressed just because I know you. Well, that's but you're not surprised. I'm definitely not surprised that you can eat a hot dog like that. Okay, I'll go, I'll go that way. Yeah, I'm not surprised, but I'm impressed that you just did that. But I I'm more blown away that you just did that on video.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:40

Yeah, I mean I don't care. I'll do it again. I'll eat a hot dog a week. Like and subscribe for hot dog a week. Every likes we get, he has to eat a hot dog.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:54

I'm over here because I can't do anymore.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:58

Oh man, you ride comes out here, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:01

I can't do it. It's a whole podcast because Meg is eating hot dogs.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:06

Oh, I wouldn't go to watch, I'd puke.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:09

So, yeah, that was that was supposed to be um my what's in the box.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:15

So now it's my car. No. No, no, no, no, no. What do you mean, no? You chose not to eat a hot dog. Part of what's in the box is you eat what's offered. You didn't eat. It doesn't you because yeah, exactly. I'm the one who stutters, not you.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:31

Listen, I'm not stuttering, I'm trying to choose my words carefully here because you're an idiot. No, you brought something on here that you thought I didn't like. Correct.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:43

You still didn't eat it.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:44

It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:45

Then what you should have done was just if you like it anyway, eat it and be done with it. And then now it would be your turn. But now it's not because you didn't eat on what's in the box. Just because you whiffed doesn't mean Oh, I did not fucking whiff.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:57

You thought you had me and you brought something on here to think that I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:01

And you didn't eat it. Maybe, and you know what? Maybe you fooled me. Maybe you really don't like cold hot dogs and you lied to me. I eat cold hot dogs out of the refrigerator, just not cheese-filled ones. Then eat one right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:13

I don't want to eat dogs.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:14

I will I will I will give up. I will say the next one is yours if you eat one right now. Otherwise, if you choose not to, it's up to them.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:28

Uh fuck it, let's go. You're not touching it though.

unknown 1:14:34

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_06 1:14:35

I don't want you touching my hot dog.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:37

I have to open the package. And is it even a hot dog? Because it doesn't have buns. Well, that would be the hot dog and hot dog bun. This is the hot dog. Here.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:48

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

SPEAKER_04 1:14:50

Okay, we're not getting into that. Dude, a little wet. You just gotta take a bite. I say I'm not big on cheese though. It's so good.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:00

I'm telling you, it's gonna change your life. It's not gonna change my life.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:02

It's gonna change your life.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:04

I've had a jalapeno hot dog with cheese. That's pretty good.

unknown 1:15:07

Kind of like that.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:08

Yeah? What? I don't wanna. Okay. I'm gonna hide it with the mic. You can do it. I believe in you.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:21

I'm rooting for you.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:22

Did I have to eat the whole thing? Yeah, the whole hot dog. It's good, isn't it? I mean, it's a hot dog. I actually don't think I got any cheese in that entire bite. It looks like it's all down here. You want to know what's funny?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:36

I made a side bet this morning that I can get you to put my wiener in your mouth on camera today. Game point me.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:44

It's not a wiener. It's a hot dog. Yeah, it looks like a wiener.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:46

Is it Oscar Meyer? Uh I think it is Oscar Meyer, yeah. Let me see. It is. Is it Oscar Meyer? 90% sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:56

Hell yeah, my baloney has a first name, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:00

It's B-O-L.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:05

Alright, so. So you fucked up. I guess, yeah. I guess gave you a fucking recording snack, actually. You just gave me a freebie. Alright, so then yes, next one will be uh will be on you, and that'll be fair. And um, as much as I would like to say that you are why I drink, I'm gonna move on to this is why I drink while you enjoy your little snacky snack.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:25

Fucking play it!

SPEAKER_04 1:16:37

Alright, people. People in general. Told you I had to go to a Sam's Club this weekend, right? That's right. So some Sam's Club have perpendicular parking, sometimes angle parking. Either way, the fucking parking. We are walking down the parking lot. We're walking down the parking lot. We're driving down the parking lot. I'm sorry. Trying to find a place to park. Multiple people, middle of the road, middle of the parking lot. Dude, just I can't stand it. Not a care in the world. See, I don't I I don't want to invite the confrontation. If I I'm not scared of confrontation, but I don't want to invite it. But also What confrontation? They're in the wrong. You're not. I know that, but they don't know that. If they knew that it's the sense of entitlement.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:29

If there is no sidewalk, you walk on the edge of the street. Done. Over.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:33

People still have that sense of entitlement, though. Fuck their entitlement. It's my world. Shove it all the way up the edge. Oh, all the way. To the brim. So it's that, it's the driving. Like, we almost got in a car accident because we're driving down a lane that's a street at 60 miles an hour. They slam on the brakes and stop. Like, I want to go this way. And we can't get out. Like, I had to I had to do some quick maneuvering to get us out of there, right? Like, it's just the the the sense of entitlement where I know that there are other people in the world right now, but they don't matter because I'm the only person who's important in the world and I'm the only person who's like, we've lost the I mean, I can't say we've lost because you see videos out there of people doing shit that's you know shows that the world still has some good in it, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:18:15

But but then also it makes you think too, did they know that they're being recorded?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:19

Because then it kind of changes the lot of that stuff you see is definitely scripted, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:18:24

So, but like we've lost respect, yeah, for sure. And I I apologize to my kids all the time because of this. Because um, when we're well, like when we're at a restaurant, there is no standing in your seats, being loud, running around the table. There is none of that. Yeah, and if you do that, I'm whooping your ass.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:50

Yeah, we're we're we're we're gonna have a problem.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:52

They and you know, it sucks because you know, yes, I think that's the way they need to be raised, but when you see other kids running around and they're sitting there just getting to stare at them while they get around and run around and play, it's like, I'm sorry, you know, they're wrong. You're doing what's great. And I'll tell you, the in the way I know it's great, I've had people cut cover my meals when me and my wife have taken my kids out to dinners.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:18

Really? Yeah, because like because of how well behaved they are. That's awesome. Like, not like a hey free meal, but just like the fact that it's recognized.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:26

Oh yeah, that they come over to the table and and uh and they'll say, Hey, um, we love that you know uh how how you you know you keep your your kids are being good, they're being respectful, they're staying quiet. Um, thank you. And then they'll walk away. And then when we go to pay the bill, they're like, no, that person paid for it.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:43

That gives me a little bit of hope for humanity, like takes away a little bit of why I drink because like the fact that people can still recognize it. But like, like if I'm another one, right? If it's a busy ass road and I stop to let you cross the street. Oh, you better knees the chest, bitch. I expect you better knee the fucking chest. Like they'll be they'll stop and tie their shoe, like dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:06

I'll fucking roll my window down and I'll lay into them. I won't, I I won't do that because again, why? Because what's they're ruining my day? Why am I gonna let them think that they got away with it? Because they're not gonna learn anything. I don't give a fuck. I'm ruining their day too. Because I'm not just gonna say something that you just did, I'm gonna fucking belittle the shit out of you, which is probably not the great part on me, but I don't give a fuck. You're ruining my day, I'm not gonna let you go on thinking that you got away with it.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:35

I've really been trying to adopt, like, I'll bitch to you about it, I'll bitch here, I'll complain otherwise. But like, I've really been trying to adopt the how I react says more about me than it does about them. And so I try to keep that in check. But Shay is she's almost worse than I am sometimes. Shay's like, I I if I could never go anywhere and never have to drive again and never have to leave my house and deal with people, I would. Because like she's got worse road rage than you do. Like, she is still have road rage. I'm calling bullshit. And again, you know what? Shit like that is why I say you're why I drink. Not people, not society, not anything else. You are why I drink, but you are also why we do this podcast. And we're rolling up to an end of another successful recording, another really good time. We had a lot of fun here, I think. I mean, I had fun. I I got to watch you slowly nibble on a hot dog. So you did like that, didn't you? Like, luckily you can't see in these shorts, but um, I got some stuff going on down there. Uh, you couldn't see in any shorts. Um, so we got everything going. Listen, everything you want to find us at TikTok, Instagram, whether it's gonna be a Facebook hub, YouTube, everything is at blue collared banter.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:50

That's B-L-U-E. It's gonna be at the bottom of your screen if you're watching on the video, but if you're not watching the video and you're only listening, it's blue-collared banter, B-L-U-E-C-O-L-L-A-R-E-D, B-A-N-T-E-R at Gmail.com. I'm so proud of you for knowing that many letters.com.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:09

I think I was I just wanted to let you go and see if you would mess it up. I did it. I was I was convinced you're gonna nail something else. Fuck out of that shit, bro.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:17

Nail something else. Yeah, I do. Every night.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:19

But we are uh there's gonna be a lot more coming. Uh we might have some Patreon ideas in the works that we've been talking about, um, just for some gigs and shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:27

Right now we're gonna get our website up and running.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:29

We're gonna get uh uh website, Facebook, everything else is already gone. Uh Patreon will be after that. Yeah, listen. I'm not gonna accept the fact that you ate a cold hot dog that you enjoyed as you know, just giving up on the that was your turn. I'm gonna ask everybody to vote for me. Um you already said it. Comment on the video if you want to. Um if Ken's next for what's in the box, I need you to write Team Kennefer. Um, yeah, I won't accept it if it doesn't say Kennefer. If I'm next up for what's in the box, I need you to write Team Ryan. Comment on the book. No, dude, that's Team Ken all day. Yeah, Team Kennefer is gonna go down.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:11

No, like because you fucking thought that you were gonna get me. Just because you didn't get me doesn't mean it's your turn. When a baseball player goes up and gets struck out, that doesn't mean he gets another turn. It means the next person fucking goes. I'm pretty done listening to me.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:24

You struck out. You're I'm done listening to your bullshit. I'm I'm fucking over this now. I'm I'm done with you. I'm done with this. Go fuck yourself. Thank you for watching Blue Collar Banter. Peace out, guys.