Blue Collared Banter: E05 - Shower Thoughts and Felonies

 In Episode 5 of Blue Collared Banter — Shower Thoughts and Felonies — Ken and Ryan start things off with the kind of completely unfiltered banter that quickly spirals into debates about shaving, tattoos, and the questionable decisions people make when they’re younger. What begins as casual shop talk somehow turns into stories about needle fears, bad ink, and plans to fix old mistakes.

A “Would You Rather” question sends the conversation straight into absurd territory, proving once again that these discussions probably shouldn’t happen near a microphone—but here we are.

Florida Man Chronicles returns with a fresh batch of headlines that sound too ridiculous to be real, involving terrible decision-making, criminals with zero situational awareness, and the kind of chaos that somehow only seems to happen in Florida.

They wrap things up with This Is Why I Drink, venting about entitlement, frustrating service calls, and the everyday annoyances that slowly push a person toward sarcasm and a cold beer.

Unfiltered jokes, bizarre news, and conversations that feel like they probably started in a garage somewhere—welcome back to Blue Collared Banter. 

https://www.instagram.com/bluecollaredbanter/ 

https://www.tiktok.com/@bluecollaredbanter 

https://www.youtube.com/@BlueCollaredBanter 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Hey, welcome to Blue Collar Banner. How are we doing today? I'm kidding. This is hey, I'm Ryan. Yeah, he's Ryan the one.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

You know, we'll see. I'm I'm spicy today, dude. Been fucking with me all day. I'm full of piss and vinegar today, man. I actually um so what it's episode five now. Five. Episode five. It's starting to learn what we're actually doing it. Like I've been looking forward to this all day. I got I I want to tell you I thought I thought about you in the shower today.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

Did you?

SPEAKER_00 0:41

I did. Yeah. So you were talking about like shaving your head and stuff, right? And I so I was Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

I almost I almost wasn't able to leave the house.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Right, so I had to I had to shave my head. Do you do do you do you shave anything else? Like, well, I know I don't shave, I know trim. I know you tame the pube main, like for sure. That that's just common courtesy, but like arms, chest, stomach. No. Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:05

I've shaved my stomach once, and it looked so ridiculously terrible, I did not like it.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Other than the beard, I'm naked from the waist up, dude. I I have to like you both okay. Have you ever shaved your butthole? No. You're not even about it, to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

I've thought, dude, I've thought about it a couple of times. Yeah. Because when you wipe your ass, like you know all that hair is getting no matter how clean you get it, you you feel like it's dirty. It's always dirty.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Or in Florida, you sweat, you get oh I'm telling you. No, I sweat.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

I sweat more than both of us.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Shaving your ass is a game changer. Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Do you shave it, or is it shaving for you?

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Oh no, I I shave myself. I've I've never like a shaving race. Yeah. With a with the same thing you use on your face? Well, not the same.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

How on the world do you manage that? Actually, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 2:01

What you do is then you like pull with one cheek and you just kind of get all up in there. Dude, yeah, I'm telling you, you can talk all the shit you want, but you're gonna try it one time. You're gonna be like, holy shit, Ryan will try.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Why? Because so I went to go shave my head, and I have one of those palm uh shavers for your head.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

You know, I tried them on my head, it didn't get me close enough.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

Yeah. Um so I had one of those, and it's got the four razor things on it. Yep. And my hair was probably too long. I was like, you know what, it should be okay. I should be able to get it right. Um, so I got this whole side right here, and it clogged it. You couldn't just like rinse it out and I tried. You could just stuck. Oh shit. And so I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I'm going, not doing podcasts tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

It's just not I'm not going to work.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

You wear a hat. No one doesn't know. Because this part would be shaved and then the rest of it wouldn't have been. So for the first time ever, I took a razor that I use on my face. Yeah. Obviously, mostly my neck now. Um, but I I and I used that and I only went down because I was too scared to go up because I didn't want to. It feels good, dude. I mean, it feels just like the my my palm razor does.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Do you have stubble there?

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Stubble? Yeah. Tiniest bit. I'm not touching your head. I'm not. Do it. I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

We're not moving forward. You touch my head. We're we're done. Oh, that's baby smooth, though. Yeah. Like that's that's how smooth, like, like that shit's baby smooth. Yeah, that's how I have to have it. I hate having stubble on my head, man.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

So, like the only time having stubble on your head is annoying is when it's cold outside and you're wearing a beanie. Because then the velcro. Yeah, yeah, it's like velcro.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Dude, I know I have to shave my head because I go to put my shirt on and I get stuck. Like, I'll pull it and pull my neck.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

Like, so yesterday, right? I'm I'm hold on, I'm still going back to yesterday. So I I I do the right side and I'm doing the back of my head as best I can. And then I get to the left, and I'm like, okay. I start doing it. I'm like, dude, I'm gonna fuck myself up because I am not left-handed coordinated at all, bro. I not at all. The only thing I could do with my left hand is catch a baseball and then I throw it with my right. Right. That's it. That's the only thing I can do with my left hand. Um, so I had to call my wife in here.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Can you do anything else? You can't do anything else with your left hand?

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Listen, we're not gonna I mean, there's other things.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

If you if you use your left hand, it feels like it's somebody else. You know, it's that if you use your left hand, it feels like it's being done by somebody else. This is true.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

What movie is that from, dude?

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Uh Waiting, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Dutch Rudder.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

But uh, so I had my wife Ollie come in and I was like, okay, so only go down. And I can feel the razor like bumping and cut. I'm like, oh, she's like, does that hurt? I was like, no, just scared shitless right now.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

So it used to be like that when I first started. Now I literally shave my head this fast. Yeah, like that's how fast I go. I guess run it shaving your head for you know almost 15 years now, so I kind of just get used to it. But you'll you'll notice you'll like it more too. Like, especially if you do go up, you go against the green.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Not smooth enough for me. I need because if if I go the up motion, if I go up and down, it gets it smooth.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah, so I was shaving my head, shaving the rest of me, and like shaving the rest of you. Like stomach, chest, and my arms, dude. I did shave your arms? I didn't start shaving my arms till I got this tattoo. Because I started to let the hair grow back in because they shave you to tattoo you. Yeah, I sort of let it grow back in, and I'm just losing all the detail and stuff. I'm like, I've got thousands of dollars on my arms. I want to be able to see it, I want people to be able to see it, right? So I get I get complimented on my tattoos all the time. Have I ever told you the story of how these started? I originally wanted on this one and then later on this one.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

Yeah, I this one you wanted the grave, you want it all dark, and looked like it was.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Before I got these, I wanted fire.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Oh, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Yeah, I wanted flames up my arms. I wanted both of them to have these, but I realized if I did that, I could never like go back up to Massachusetts and visit family and stuff because you can't bring firearms on an airplane.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

That's why you never mention flames to me, because you're just telling one stupid ass joke. No one is gonna laugh at that. No one will laugh at that. Not one person.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Oh, I guarantee you somebody's gonna be like, I'm using that. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

No, because for for real though, your tats, what that one's not what it was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

No, this is exactly what it was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

No, because you said this one you wanted the old graveyard dark, looked like it was. This one's not done yet. And then you said you wanted that side colour of the graveyard, but full of lights. No, that's here, top to bottom.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

So the purpose of this one, right, is it's old, like back in the 1700s, cemeteries were parks too. People would go there and like hang out, like they were beautiful places. So the purpose of this one is from elbow up, it's supposed to look like it did back then, beautiful, bright, colorful, maintained. And then as it travels down my arm, it falls apart and deteriorates to what it looks like now when no one's taking care of it. That's this whole arm, the theme. This is just fucking colorful Disney stuff. Yeah, yeah. There's a whole bunch of I have I want a tattoo. You need to do it. You need to stop being a little bitch.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

How long have I been talking to you about getting a tattoo?

SPEAKER_00 7:51

As long as you've known that I've had tattoos. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

I've been tattooed before I had two sleeves. Yeah, I've been wanting to get tattoos forever. And now my daughter, on her birthday, is going to get a tattoo.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

So you're gonna go with her and get one too, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

You should. Don't be outdone by your daughter.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

I don't care about being outdone by that. Needles scare me, bro.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Dude, you can't even see the needle, man.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

You can't even But I know it's literally ripping apart my skin.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

It's not ripping, it's poking.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

So you're telling me when they do shading, when they're dragging it across your skin.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Mm-hmm. You don't like bleed or no.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

Oh, bullshit. No, very much. I've seen Inkmaster. Very fucking bleed, though.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Very, very little. Like you I I don't think I bled um except for here, with all this dark. Otherwise, I didn't bleed for most of this arm. You really don't, you they don't go deep enough to bleed. Like they you really don't. Like, think about it. You'd be leaking blood if you really bled bad for tattoos, so bad they wouldn't be able to see what they're doing. You really don't bleed like that. Like you might have a little bit, but not bad. You're you got it way overworked in your head, I think. Probably. I think you're I I I think you're overdoing it in your head that you think like it's gonna be some big crazy. I already know what I would get. I had I'd these two bottom arms would be full. Of would be a collage of penises.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Yes. Peni. Um, so it it it's gonna, you know, it's good, it's gonna come up right here. The the penis head is gonna end like the middle of my hand, and then my fingers are gonna be sperm.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Uh, that's so that so the balls are gonna be down here in the elbow, then. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I thought you were gonna like do this for the balls, like good. That'd be a good idea, too. But then you'd be looking at it and it would be hard to show anybody else. At least this way you could be like, pa. Yeah, yeah. I get it. So that makes sense. Yeah, no dicks.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

So no, I so I I have ideas for these two and um across my back. And then I have one.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

The the back's not terrible. I have one across my back.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

Yeah, I heard the only part that hurts on the back is the spine, like right across the spine.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

So mine I don't really remember. It was done when I was 18 for free in my buddy's living room. Um, I have a I have a male version of a tramp stamp, I have a tribal, and I justified when I got it, like, no, no, no, no, but like she custom drew this for me. Nobody else in the world has this tri. I have a fucking tribal. And the girl who did it didn't know how to use a shading needle. So, you know how when you were a kid you were learning to color, you'd do the outside real dark and lightly fill in the inside so you didn't go out of the line. That's what my back looks like. Yeah. The outside is super dark and everything. I'm I'm gonna get it covered up. I've seen the back of your yeah, I've seen the back of you quite a few times. Yeah, yeah, you have. Yeah. I'm gonna get it covered up with a whole like Odin and Thor Viking. I got I got a whole scene for my back. I'm I'm gonna be tatted like waist up, except for the front. I'm not doing anything on the front because tattooing my ribs and nipples scares me. I can't. Ribs feel sounds like it sucks.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Oh, dude, I have a buddy that I was stationed with in Germany, and uh, and he was he's scrawny skinny. Like scrawny, scrawny skinny. He's tall. He he he was I think he was either as tall as I am or taller. Right. But he's just rail thin. Yeah, yeah. And he got the um the the helmet, gun, and boots, and then a whole uh verse from a Bible. Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

And from a Bible, from the Bible, yeah. Well, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Uh uh, and he, dude, he said it was the worst idea he's ever had in his entire life. Yeah, like because it was literally on the bone of his ribs because he's skinny.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

I know the back's gonna suck, and like the back, like my ribs wrap around the back. I have a buddy who's got his name's Dan Cain, he's got two ravens. I think I'm 90% sure they're ravens. So he used to have a mohawk and he shaves his head. He's got a raven going on each side of his head. It looks so cool. Nice. Like I've always been jealous. Yeah. So, alright. We're gonna move on. And I need you I need you to hear me out. Alright, hear us out. Hear me out. While we're on the subject, would you would you rather have knives?

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Would you rather last time you did would you rather it was not a great one?

SPEAKER_00 12:36

It wasn't terrible. It was just like teeth and fingernails and stuff. It's fine. Would you rather knives for fingers? Or dicks for fingers. I've heard this one somewhere. Where have I heard this? I don't think I've heard this exact one. I've heard one similar. Um I don't think it was knives, I think it was something else, right? But plus you can. Thanks, Brian. You didn't make a sound. I didn't know you sneezed. Knives for fingers or dicks for fingers? What's your first thought? How? What do you mean how? Have to be knives. How are you gonna pee? How you gonna urinate? You didn't say anything about thumbs. Thumbs are fingers. Don't get in.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

No, no, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Would you rather have five knives on each hand or five dicks on each hand?

SPEAKER_02 13:23

Neither. But if I had to choose one, I'd be Edward Scissor Hands.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Re how? Dude, you can't do anything. You can never hug your kids. You can never- you you can't have a ticket for you. Yeah, they're sharp ass. Again, back to my point. How are you gonna urinate? Are you gonna go pee-pee?

SPEAKER_02 13:42

I mean, I I sure I would figure it out. Right now I can't give you an answer.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Yeah. Well the butt they these are things you have to think about because you know, once you walk out that door, your finger's gonna turn into dick. I'd go dick fingers, dude. You would though. Well, but the question is like, would they be erect?

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Or just flop.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Or just floppy, flaccid fingers. Like, do you do do you have to like get your fingers in the mood before you can do something? And then do they bend? Like, think about trying to type, right? Yes. Ha! No, no, no, you'd be good, you'd be a great uh, what is it, um Marionette, the the the puppet people? Yeah. You could you'd be really good at that. Just until until you finish, then they'd just be sad. Yeah. Would you would you have fingernails on the dick fingers?

unknown 14:32

No.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Because they do a dick. I uh right, but I I have too many questions now. One, do they have knuckles? No, because it's a dick. Do okay, so are they functioning penis? Well no. This was your question. But now I didn't think about it. Do you is there like a little ball sack at the end of each finger? Like you have to be careful and you can't make a fist because you squeeze your balls? Like, do do they have the same sentence? Can they finish?

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

How's that for Spider-Man?

SPEAKER_01 15:11

Is that what? What is that?

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Can he like imagine? Okay, so you're trying to work on your car, right? You're trying to go. You wouldn't be able to. Either way, whether you go. You're outside just trying to get them ready so you can hold the wrench.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

And but it's really cold outside, so they're not working. You're trying to reach. Like, god damn it, get this thing up here so I can reach down there.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

You get the they they change and and and they shrink, right? Oh, imagine uncircumcised dick fingers. Get out of here. No way.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Just I guess you that would just remark require cleaning, just like it requires cleaning your nest.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Oh, my brain is going on a tangent right now. See, I think dick fingers would be the least inconvenient of the two, though, man.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Like you can't get more done with a knife. Yeah, if you're in a kitchen. So it's be a chef, dog.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Oh, okay. When's the last time you cooked a meal that didn't go in the microwave? You personally?

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Me personally. Yeah. Not too long ago. Was it chili?

SPEAKER_00 16:24

No. What what'd you make?

SPEAKER_02 16:26

I made uh some chicken in the air fryer.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Okay. You said microwave. When's the last time you cooked a meal that wasn't pre-cooked and didn't go in the microwave or the air fryer? You just put raw chicken in the air fryer all willy-nilly? Yeah. I've never done that. That shit goes in the oven or a grill.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

No, bro, I'm telling you. It's some no no no for real. For real. Okay. 400 for 10 minutes, but flip it. Or no, 400 for 20 minutes. But flip it after it. But flip it ever after 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Do you like season it or bread it? Or what do you what do you do with it?

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Well, we seasoned it. It was uh uh a uh sauce. Okay. Like we had it sitting in a sauce bag overnight. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

And then um I did have some Italian chicken on the ground.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

And then uh and then we we take it out of the bag and put it in there, and then uh after ten minutes goes by, you flip it, you put it back in, let for ten minutes, and it's good to go, bro.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

The point is, I don't think you would survive as a chef. Because, okay, cool.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

I wouldn't be one of those chefs that makes all that crazy shit.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Well, but you you could okay, so you have knife fingers, you can prep the food. What the fuck you do after that? How do you hold the frying pan? You start hands with knife fingers. Think you make the wrong move, you cut your face off. You're gonna have so like you But Edward Scissors hand doesn't do that?

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Because he's used to it, right? You get used to it. So you're gonna learn how to position yourself, how you're moving your fingers, how you're moving your hands.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

Those are scissors. We're talking knives. Very different. Not really. If you close scissors, they can't hurt you.

unknown 17:59

Right?

SPEAKER_00 17:59

If you close scissors. Bullshit, it's still got the tip, right? But they're not sharp edges. You have sharp-edged knives for the water.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Which way we're it it's is are we talking about daggers where it's double-sided blades? I mean are we talking about pocket knives where it's only sharp on one side? Or are they ferrated?

SPEAKER_00 18:16

I would say daggers. Daggers is fair, right?

SPEAKER_02 18:18

You got yeah, daggers, so it's sharp on both sides. Dagger fingers. That would be a little harder to manipulate.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Shaving my head would be easier though. Yeah? That'd be that'd be good.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Fucking go be a barber, bro.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Yeah, no, that's true. Yeah, that's fucking Edward Scissors hands, dog. I I think I'd I'd go dick fingers, dude.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Yeah. I I I I think uh I think I'd be able to accomplish more with knife fingers.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

I think I would have I would have a happier, more productive, and much, much funnier life if I went dick fingers. Because think about it. I love I love a good story. I love something funny, I love like dick fingers, man. Like I'd the way I would fuck with people for sure. Would you fuck people or fuck with people? Yeah, that goes back to are they functional? I mean, oh then there's no such thing. Could I could you could you get somebody pregnant with the dick fingers? So many babies, dude. If I had dick fingers in high school, oh my god. I would have been a father by the time I was 17. Like 16 different people. I mean, I I think I have to go dick fingers, man.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

Without even like like uh what's the word? Without even like determining on what kind of fingers they're gonna be. There wouldn't even be fingers, but determine like because you don't like like you said, are they functional? Are they not functional? Are they gonna be limp the whole time?

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Imagine if they're all different, like like this one is like a big vanny triumphant bastard. This one hooks to the left a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Like got a banana one to fucking his bananas back towards you. Sorry, that's my banana one. That one doesn't really work well with the others, it just kind of sits off to the side.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

But I can use it to fling stuff real far. I I I'd go dick fingers, dude. I have to, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Well, I guess that's uh that's that. You'd go dick fingers, I'd go, I'd go uh knife fingers. And I will never shake your hand. No, no, why would I wouldn't want to shake your hand ever? Well, if you think about it, you have dick fingers.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

Are you ready for me to ruin your life?

SPEAKER_02 20:23

No. No, but okay, we've already talked about this. Every hand you shook has had a dick in it at some point. Just that. Whether it's a woman's or a man's, has had a dick in it at some point.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Almost every hand you've shaken has had a dick in it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

So there's a dick in it minutes before you shake their hands.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

You have no idea. Yeah. They might not have even washed it. Yeah, like you've like using the transitive property. Do you wash your hands when every time you go to the bathroom? No.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

No, neither do you. No, I don't.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

No.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

It's my dick. I'm not gonna- Why do I need to wash my hands?

SPEAKER_00 20:52

I don't I don't think I don't think there's a man that does.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

I don't know that's not true. I know some people that do.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

You know, you know a man who literally washes his hands every single time he touches his unit? Every time he goes to the bathroom?

SPEAKER_02 21:06

Every time he goes to the bathroom, he washes his hands.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

See, I think he sits there. I know it's gross.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

So listen I know I'm gonna get shot for it. So listen, he he he's he was one of my supervisors, and he's a germaphobe. Right. So he washes his hands all the time. Now listen, this guy, he would be, you would walk into the bathroom and he's standing there like, oh thanks, man, and he'd go out, so he didn't have to touch the door. Right. He said sometimes he'll be standing there. I ruined this guy's life, dude. He because he he's like, he's like, sometimes I stand in the bathroom, you know, and I'm just sitting there like that. Where did somebody not touch this to where I could open this door? And I looked at him, I said, Sarge, what about the next door? And he's like, What do you mean? I was like, if they didn't wash their hands and touch that door and they touched the next door, what about that door? Bro, he got so mad. At me.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

He was so mad.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Yo, that shit was hilarious. I ruined that man's life with one question. That's terrible. So, so like.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

I don't I don't I don't I don't know. Like the first time I heard that, right? Every every hand you shake has had a dick in it. Dude, I was not well for a while.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

I mean it is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Because I know, but like think about what we do for work. The old man who has to shake your hand. Yeah. Poor little old late, they've all had dicks in them. Yeah. Every I I wasn't well. Yeah. Do you do you uh it looks like you're gonna do it?

SPEAKER_02 22:39

I got a uh I got a little story that I want to read to you that I found online.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

I love story time.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Yeah. Okay, so a traveler once visited a small village on the countryside. Okay. At the local bar, someone asked him if he was married. He said, I'm divorced, actually. Never could find a woman I didn't end up fighting with all the time. So he's probably a douche.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

I've met the type.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Yeah. The local man said, You should go talk to the old couple that have been married at the top of the hill outside the village. Rumor has it, they have been married for over 60 years and they have never fought this entire time.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

I'm calling shenanigans.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

He says, What? That's impossible. Everyone fights. Right. But the local man swore to him that it was the truth and nothing but. Okay. Okay. So the traveler just had to check it out himself. He so he the next morning he went to their house and he knocked on the door in the on the little house in the on the hill and was immediately welcomed by the husband who invited him in for tea. Okay. After the traveler explained why he came to see him, the man smiled and nodded. It's true. We never fight. Please, begged the traveler, can you tell me your secret? Well, said the old man, it all started about sixty years ago, right after our wedding. We were riding on a mule back to town and walking it down the street when it trips over a stone. And my wife said to him, That's one. And we kept riding. He tripped again on another stone, which my wife immediately said, That's two. Two minutes later, the mule tripped over a stone again. My wife said, That's three. Pulled out a gun, which I never knew she had, by the way, and she had shot it in the head without thinking twice. I was shocked and I yelled at her, What the heck do you think you're doing? We need that fuel. Are you cra that mule? Are you crazy? Wife looked at me straight in the eye and said, That's one. Never fought again.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Okay, that's uh alright. I I I probably wouldn't fight either. No. I brought I I I get it. I wouldn't Nope, it's it's not worth it. But also You're pretty much a prisoner at that point.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Yeah, yeah, because you because you feel like anything you do, you're gonna get a two. Right. And once you get that two, you know it's over with because you can't have a three, so you you just gotta do whatever she says. That that really defines the meaning of happy wife. Yo, yeah. Happy wife, keep your life.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

Yeah. Oh yeah, there you go. There you go. It's it's like there was uh there was a thing on social media uh uh woman's in in prison or in court, you know, in front of a judge or whatever, and the judge is like, so Officer Smith, you're saying that this woman shot her husband for walking on the freshly mopped floor. Yes, sir, she did. And why did you not immediately go and detain her? Your honor, the floor was still wet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

Fuck that. I waited until the floor was dry and then I went in and cut after.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Like the all those all those little little fun fun tidbits that are just out there in the internet. I love the internet, dude. Oh. I like I love it because no matter what you're looking for, you'll find it.

unknown 26:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

You know, no matter what kind of mood you're in, if you can't find it.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

If you can't find it, you're into some weird shape. You search it and it literally will bring it to you.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Alright. We're doing Florida Man Chronicles.

SPEAKER_02 26:25

Florida Man Chronicles.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Florida Man Chronicles.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

Always a fun time.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

Alright, I've got two. I don't know if you have any. I do, actually. This first one was instant karma. So this isn't gonna hit you as hard, but you know how I am with dogs. Dogs specifically. Okay. I love animals, but can I pet that dog? Can I pet that dog? Shea, Shay had to physically restrain me last night because we're walking 9:30 at night. We're walking through the neighborhood, and I look the way I look, and I want to go up to a random woman walking alone by herself because I want to pet her dog, and she's like, No, you can't do that. You cannot go pet that.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Who's gonna be scared of a five foot nothing dude? Come on now.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

I don't, it's it's not that it's not that I look scary, it's that I don't look inviting. I don't look like a nice. It's because you have RBS. Dude, I or I I have resting dick face, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:23

Or dick, bitch.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Like I was I was walking through Home Depot one day, minding my own business in a great mood, just trying to get at the register, and the guy goes, I'll move out of your way. You look like you're having a bad day.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

I was on the phone with you for that.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Dude, this guy just told me he's gonna move out of my way because I look like I'm having a bad day. I'm fucking happy today.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

That's just the effect I have on people. So, so this one here, um, it actually comes from NBC News, so it's legit. NBC News. Puppy shoots Florida man. Deputy. Wait, what? You heard me. Puppy. Puppy shoots. Shoots a man. Puppy shot a man. This is instant karma at its finest. Back in 2004. A man who tried to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver's trigger. A revolver? Yes. Revolvers have a very heavy trigger, unless the hammer's back, then you touch it and it goes off. Remember, I used to have that uh that that 357.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

Yeah, I s I have a 38 special. And if even if the hammer's back, it's still a it's still a good squeeze that you have to get on that trigger. It's just not as far.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

Mine, if the hammer was back, it had a it went from like a six-pound trigger to like a 1.2 pound trigger. Like it was very, very light.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

I think the trigger's the same for mine. It's just you don't have to do it as far.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Oh no, mine was not the same. Mine, there was no resistance. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

So mine's mine's the same. You just uh obviously it's not as far because the trigger's already pulled right three-quarters of the way back.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

Jerry Bradford was being he's 37, was being treated at the hospital for a gunshot wound to his wrist. Bradford said he decided to shoot the three-month-old Shepard Mix dogs in the head because he couldn't find them a home, according to the sheriff's office.

SPEAKER_02 29:18

Um I know you said this won't hit me as hard, but I I still have fucking like human feelings, right? Like that's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

Oh, yeah, it's it's terrible. Why where'd the rest of the article go? Um continue, there we go. On Monday, Bradford was holding two puppies, one in his arms and another in his left hand, when the dog in his hand wiggled and put its paw on the trigger of the 38 revolver, the gun then discharged. Deputies found three puppies in a shallow grave outside his home. The other four appeared to be in good health and were taken to animal control, which planned to make them available for adoption. Does it say anything about he'd get arrested for animal abuse? No, it doesn't go on anything there. I'm sure he did. Oh, the original version of this story erroneously reported that Bradford was charged with felony animal cruelty. Investigators have applied for an arrest warrant for Bradford, charging him with animal cruelty, but the request is under review. So he he was they tried, but he wasn't officially charged yet. But, dude, you mean to tell me you've got three-month-old German Shepherd puppies and you can't give them away? For free? This is in 2024. Put those bitches on Facebook, dude. Yeah. Somebody you have three month-old puppies and you can't just dude, you give me eight people.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

I got a buddy right now. Both of us know this guy. I could call him right now and he'll take all three German Shepherds. He loves German Shepherds.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Yeah. You give me you give me eight puppies right now, I can go walk through my neighborhood and come back empty-handed.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

Like, there's no way the this guy, there was something wrong there. Of course it's from Florida, because there's no fucking way you're telling me that you have eight puppies and you can't get rid of them.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Yeah, no, that's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He would he he he will shoot you over a dog. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Like if he knew about that, that guy would be dead.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Oh yeah, he'd go fight, he'd go on a hunting expedition. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

And he'd Facebook stream that shit live.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Mm-hmm. So it's like I there's a special place in hell for people who like hurt animals like that. Like especially like I understand the need of you have an old dog, you know, if you're out you're having to put an animal out of its misery. That's one thing. But just I can't find these puppies' homes, and I was irresponsible enough to be in possession of them, so now I'm just gonna shoot him.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Yeah. And did were were you planning on taking any steps to not have any more puppies?

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Right, and like so if and if you think about it, he probably had to stop to reload.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

How many did he shoot? Three? He he well, yeah, but he And it was a revolver, so he has at least five, so he still had two rounds.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Right, but he had a total of eight, so he would have had to stop and reload anyway. So, like you have to, and I don't say that to make a joke, like stop you actually have to consciously be so actively involved and committed to that. Like, it's just a such a fucked up thing, dude. For sure. Uh that's ridiculous, bro. This is this this one's a little lighter. This comes from our our uh our Florida Man repository. Repository? Yeah, I think I think I I think repository is the right word. Um, Florida Man tries to trick police with a I don't live here sign.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Yo, I seen when I was looking for mine. I seen that.

SPEAKER_00 32:47

You know where do you know where it comes from? Yeah, it comes from Polk County.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

He literally wrote on a whiteboard. Yeah, his name does not live here.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

His name's like Joseph or something shit like that.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

October 14th, the wanaban tried fooling police by leaving uh a not a note out front of his house. The police didn't fall for it. According to the Fox News, Polk County deputies showed up to the home of Johnny Yates. Johnny, that's 41 years old in Lakeland. Shocker. Fucking Lakeland. I was there like two days ago. Johnny Yates does not live here. Of course they received a tip you his home, but when they arrived at the house, they found a message on a whiteboard. Johnny Yates does not live here in capital letters. He's not that bright, though, if he believes this with full deputies. The Polk County Sheriff posted on Facebook, G, a dry eraseboard never lied to us before. Should we believe it? And they actually posted his mugshot and the picture of the Johnny Yates doesn't live here on their social media. Oh, dude. Polk County Sheriff social media is wild. Like not even social media. Polk County Sheriff. But the the shit they post on Facebook. Oh yeah, great. Yeah. The thing they post on Facebook, though, man, like go to their page, you will not be disappointed.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Oh, dude.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

He and he gives zero fucks. They love that man. The the deputies decided to stick around even though nobody opened the door. Eventually, someone left the house, told the officers that Johnny Yates was in the house. Deputies then said ratted out, too. They surrounded the house, spent an hour trying to get the man to surrender after they dispensed that surrender smoke into the house. At this point, four occupants came running out. They were all arrested for resisting and taken to jail. Johnny Yates never came out. Police use more surrender smoke and then dispatched a canine to search the inside of the house where they found him hiding in a dresser. Dude, I'm telling dresser? It says chest of drawers. Oh, okay. So and then uh so he was wanted on charges of battery, false imprisonment, evidence sampering. Um now he can now he can add resisting. Too bad that dry eraseboard trick didn't work. Can you uh how high or dumb or both? I mean it's Lakeland, right? So we we have to we have to keep the the expectation of of of common sense and intelligence at an appropriate place considering it is Lakeland. But how dumb do you have to be to be like this'll fool them?

SPEAKER_02 35:19

Yeah, they were they were high as hell on something.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

Something good too. Like to be like, yeah, no, I I know the police are looking for me. I'll just put this sign out front, they'll obviously understand.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Like, I'm not here, no, yeah, yeah. Dude, I'm telling you right now, okay, I am not a criminal. If I was, though, the moment I hear a police officer say, This is a canine. If you do not come out, you will be bit. Bro, I will go out bitch right away. Yep. I I will climb out of wherever the hell I'm at. Yep, I'm good. Because those dogs fucking damn near come every time they put their teeth into somebody.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

They fucking love it. Oh yeah, they're and I do not want to be a part of that at all. That that's a weird kink.

unknown 36:11

What?

SPEAKER_02 36:12

That's a weird kink. I don't want to be a part of it, is what I said, asshole.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

My my brain went off on story time of somebody who like that's how they get off. They have to get bit by a dog. No, not Oh my god. No, no, no, I heard you. I know what you said. Yeah, but my brain is being retarded. Yeah, yeah, that's my my brain. I love that my brain takes me on these adventures, and that's the one that I guess on in my brain for a little bit. Oh, you went on story time.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

Okay, so listen. Okay. I got a Florida man. It's from Tampa.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Oh, Tampa. Oh, this one right here. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Okay. Surveillance video appeared to capture a 49-year-old Stefan Titlin.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

That's a great name.

SPEAKER_02 36:56

Good old Stefan. Going from car to car along a residential block in Tampa earlier this month. Okay. So he's basically stealing from cars. Okay. If it's locked, he move whoops. If he locks, it move, he moves on.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

If it's not locked, he'll burgle them.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Yeah. Um, seven different times he was seen going to doors that were locked. They had videos of it, right? The next day, Titlin, who was already a felony probation on felony probation for a burglary, burglar. Oh my god, I love watching you read. I can't, oh god, this is fucking Brian all over.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

I I love this is my favorite part because Washington United's not gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

So he's on probation. He's already done this. Yeah. So he had more success um when he found the unlocked doors, obviously. I don't know why they put that in there. Uh by the way, this is from uh actually, I don't know who this is from. It doesn't say. That's crazy. Now, he went to the next door. It was unlocked, so he thought he was in luck. However, the vehicle was not empty. It was an unmarked Pasco County Sheriff's Office vehicle. It was occupied with several members of the Sheriff's Office strategic targeted area response team.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Oh, they're there to catch people like you, and you're like, here I am.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

Dude, just imagine the tent windows are tinted, right? And you're fucking going on backdoors locked, trunks locked, backdoors locked, passengers locked. You go around to the front door. Oh shit, this one's open, dog. You open that bitch, and there's just police sitting there staring at you with their guns drawn to sit there pointing. Like you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_00 38:40

Take it one step further. You know they were watching him. Oh, you know they're in there. And they were there for him. You know they're in there, like, check out this motherfucker. Hey, should we get him? No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 38:51

They were they were a strategic response team, right? So that means they were there for him. For that reason because he was caught on seven different videos trying to break into people's cars.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

So they're just like, oh, he'll come to us.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

Oh yeah, yeah. Oh man, that I thought that one was pretty good, so I wanted to share that one.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

I I had a I had a thought while you were talking. Oh yeah. Um, do you think reading would be easier if you knew your alphabet? Probably. Hey guys, send in flashcards. I send in flashcards to help can read a lot. You miss what? You miss what? It sounded like you said you missed the D. I did. Oh, Kennefer, I got your D right here, Bob. I got it. Oh shit. That's that's great. I wish I could have seen that. Just imagine being on the side of the road, just watching that video.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

It says there's a surveillance video of it, but I they don't have it posted anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

Oh, that is so good.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Like, why would you say there's a surveillance video of it and then not post it?

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Uh maybe like still like evidentiary shit, or you know, there there's still something going on that they can't like release it yet. It maybe. I haven't heard about it, but I'm not really up on the news. Eight years ago. Damn, I didn't realize it was eight years ago. No, that was that was quite some time ago. The dude looks like an idiot.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

Yeah, he looks like somebody who do that. Yeah, yeah. But imagine, like, you're 49 years old, dude. Yeah. What what do you what do you what are you doing? He you you do why are you still shocked? Why are you I mean I'm not shocked. It's just kind of like I don't know how I can't obviously I can't I'm not in that kind of mindset, right? So it it's it's hard for me to follow. But you're fucking 50 years old, bro.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

What are you doing? I allegedly know a lot about crime. Umlegedly. Allegedly, I have had a checkered past. These are just the dumbass people who are begging to get caught. Like uh there's the people who are good at it don't get caught. And they know how to not get caught, and they're not aimlessly willy-nilly just tugging on door handles hoping to find something good, right? It's it's it's thought out, it's methodical, it's people like this are just fucking dumbasses.

SPEAKER_02 41:13

Did you see the video of where those two guys, one of them had like a satellite dish thing, and and the other one had like this little uh iPad thing going on, and the guy with the satellite dish walks up to the house, and he's the guy on the iPad's telling him no, no, no, yes, and he that it's finding the frequency of their car fob. Oh shit and he downloads it onto his i iPad and he's able to unlock their vehicle like that.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. That's like the again, the people who are gonna do it and be good at it. Oh, yeah, that's that's super common because it like mushes the facial features up enough that you can't describe them.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

I d I just feel like that that tells me that you're not smart at all.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

It's actually very smart. So when you put a stocking over your face, allegedly, it it mushes the facial features out that no one can like describe you and like give an accurate, hey, here's what he looked like, but it doesn't impede your vision at all. Because it's so close to you you can see right through it. So it's as close as you can get to wearing nothing, but still hiding your facial features so you can't be the ski mask hides everything except for your eyes. Right, but one that's a lot more obvious from farther away, right? If you're 50 yards away from somebody, you're not gonna notice if they have a stocking on their head, probably. But you are gonna notice that they're gonna be around.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

I'm gonna notice them carrying a fucking satellite dish.

SPEAKER_00 42:41

Oh, well, yes, right, but that so especially with the days of um like door-to-door salesmen still and and and and solicitors and still.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

Oh, by the way, if you're a solicitor, fuck you.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

Yeah, that part.

SPEAKER_02 42:56

Yeah, yeah, fuck all of you.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Dude, I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna let everybody know my tried and true every single time. If somebody knocks on your door and tries to tell you something, tell them you rent. Oh, I do. Every time.

SPEAKER_02 43:09

But one guy actually fucking pulled up my house and was like, Are you Ken Willis?

SPEAKER_00 43:16

No, I'm not. If you walk up to my door and you know my name, I'm not who you think I am. There nothing good comes from that.

SPEAKER_02 43:23

Well, he got me because me and my wife were working on my car, and he walks up and he's like, Hey, Ken. And I turn around and looked and I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

What was he um uh like ADT light light like security system guy?

SPEAKER_02 43:38

No, no, he was he was um uh uh roof, uh not roof, um solar. Solar. Solar the fucking solar guy.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

But dude, I was like What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 43:50

For one, why are you standing at the like doorway of my garage door that's opened? You're way too far. Yeah, okay? You need to back the fuck up. And I told him I was like, yeah. And he took a step forward. I was like, no, no, no. Don't don't step closer. Yeah, don't you're already in my garage. You need to step back. And oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was like, listen, dude, if you're selling trying to sell shit, we rent. And he pulls up, he's he's like, he's like, oh, it says here you've owned the house since such and such. You need to get the fuck off my property. Holly. My wife that is so non-confrontational. Oh, she's very, very passive. Yes. She goes around and she's like, sir, we're in the middle of trying to do something. Can you please leave? Right. Yeah. You can go. And then I looked at him and he kind of stood there for a second and I was like, You heard her, right? Yeah. Like, like, bye.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

Dude, I I thought that so that happened to me. When I so they get there are people who get lists, right, when you buy the house. They're like, hey, so and so just bought this house, and and they they come I still have people knocking on my door. I've lived here for like four months now.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

There there's if you go into my neighborhood, there's this long stretch of a road, not long stretch, but it's it's somebody's side yard, and they have a fence along there. And if you see a car parked there, that's the solicitor that's walking around. Oh yeah. Yeah, so anytime I see a car park there, I know I'm ready for them. But once I get I'm I've I'm I haven't ordered it yet because I've been lazy on it, but once I get my sign that I'm ordering off of Amazon and put it up, they will not be happy if they continue if they knock on my door because I will answer in a way that they will never come to my house again.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

Like just completely nude wearing nothing but a gun. That'd be fun.

SPEAKER_02 45:30

No, but I won't be nude, but it'll be pretty apparent that oh, so you can't read. Let me fucking help you read it.

SPEAKER_00 45:39

So we when we it was literally like our second day here. Like we weren't even living here yet. We closed on Halloween and it was like November 2nd or 3rd. We were here working, like trying to get the house ready, doing stuff, painting bullshit, right? Dude comes and knocks on the door, ADTs. Hey, I see you guys bought the house. Like, fucking yeah? Well, we're doing blah blah blah. I'm like, listen, man, not right now. I got too much going on. Not right now. I've actually never had security people. I appreciate it. I like what you have to say, but not right now. Yeah. So he comes back again. I'm like, dude, you have terrible timing. Like I'm walking out the door. Yeah, I'm rushing to my car to go pick up my kid. Not right now. So then he comes back again like a month later, bro. I'm under my truck. I'm doing the oil pan gasket on my truck, and I'm trying to do it without having to pull the crossbar. It's a motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

Yeah, you broke like three bolts off of that.

SPEAKER_00 46:30

Yeah, it was um, it was that day. I'm up under my truck, and the dude, he knows my name, he knows me now. He walks in, yells, Ryan. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I I thought it was you or something, right? Somebody, and he squats down and tries to sell me security while I'm undercovered in grease and oil, like cursing. Bro, I'm like, dude, they're on a joke. You need to leave and you need to not come back. Yeah. Because if you come back here, it's not gonna be good for you. Like, I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you can clearly see this is not my priority right now, and you're under my truck with me trying to talk to me. Get the fuck out. Yeah, do not come back. It won't be a good time for either one of us.

SPEAKER_02 47:15

Dude, I see so bad for this kid one time, right? So apparently my daughter didn't close the front door at all the way. Right. And I'm sitting there, my computer and Xbox is right next to the front door. Yeah. Okay. Um, all of a sudden the door opens and it was like a knock, and the door opened. I get up and I have a stopbox right next to my computer desk to where all I gotta do is push a couple buttons and it opens. And I immediately open grabbed, and I walked over and I looked at at the door, and it was like this teenage kid. I say teenage, but he was probably like anywhere between 16 and 20.

SPEAKER_00 47:58

Right.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

Okay. And I look at him, I was like, Did you just open my fucking front door? And I could see the fear in his face. Yeah. Right? And he he's like, No, all I did was try to knock. And and I was like, bro, the door was the door opened. That's obviously not a knock. Like, right, like I was like really uh being on the defense of the room. Aggressive, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:22

And uh that's a lesson to be learned. You're lucky it was me. Yeah, some people shoot first, ask questions later.

SPEAKER_02 48:28

Um, and I could see the fear in his face, and that he started walking away, and I was kind of like, you know, my daughter probably didn't close the door all the way. Right. And I was like, kid, what's up, man? What what do you need? And he's he's like, I'm just trying to find my lost cat. And I was like, let me see the picture, because he had had a paper in his hand, and I assumed it was a picture. And he's like, I was like, let me see the picture. And um, and uh uh and he handed it to me, and I was like, I haven't seen any black and white cats. There's a full black one that runs around here all the time, right? But I haven't seen any black and white ones. He's like, okay, and I was like, kid, I'm sorry, man. I he he he's he's like, no, it's okay, I'm sorry. And I was I was like, we're good though, right? And he's like, Yeah, and I was like, okay. I was like, if I see anything, um, you know, I'll I'll let you know. And yeah, but dude, that kid was he probably shit his pants.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Dude, I did that to Rick one time.

SPEAKER_02 49:18

Oh, I remember this, yeah. You told me about it. I wasn't obviously I wasn't here for it, but you told me about it.

SPEAKER_00 49:22

So we used to live right next, like a two-minute walk from each other, and we'd be at each other's houses all the time. This was before Zoe was born, so 12, 13 years ago. I'm sitting there and I'm playing some kind of video game. I don't remember what it was, and Rick didn't tell me he was coming over, or he texted me and I didn't see it, or something. And I'm sitting there, we don't have any kids at the time, and uh my Glock 40 is sitting on my coffee table. Rick opens my door, and as he opens the door, I drop the controller, I pick it up, and I draw. And he opens the door, sees me, and goes, It's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, don't shoot, it's me. But uh there were drive-bys in that neighborhood. Like I was outside of my boxers in an AR one time. Yeah, like it wasn't South St.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

Pete, not down.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

That was actually the only house I uh I actually the only time I've ever drawn my firearm to defend myself. Yeah. Um uh it was I've never had to do it in a civilian world. Uh I so this might be up for debate. I might get some heat for it, but the one I was young and two, I was threatened, right? So I I used to have my my my Jigsaw 1000, my motorcycle, and I pull up to a red light, uh turn lane 34th and 38th, where that hump is there by my old tattoo place, and he goes to take a left and he just pulls it way too hot to try to clear the red light, skids out, hits a telephone pole, drops the pole. So I hop on my bike, I blow through the light, I go make sure everybody's okay, and he goes, Hey, go check on my girl and and get her out of the car. I have to hide my weed. So I'm like, Alright, cool. I get his girl out of the car, I call 911, I wait for the police, I tell them what happened. I don't say anything about the weed though. I keep trying to myself, right? A couple like a month later, I get a subpoena to go to court. So I'm like, I I don't know that I can just not go. I'm thinking, like, if I don't go, I'm gonna get arrested. So I get a subpoena, I go to court, they ask me about the accident, I tell them what happened, still don't say shit about the weed. They asked me about the accident, I'm like, it looked like he just came in too hot. Like, people make mistakes. He tried to make the corner, he didn't make it in time, and he lost control. Like it happens. Well, he ended up catching a charge for that or losing his license or whatever, like wasn't the first time. I was in my work truck at the time for that first company I worked for. Yeah. Um, before. And so I drive home and he's following me home. It's him, his boy, I think another one of his buddies and his girl are all in the car following me home. And there's a chain link fence in the front, and then you can kind of there's like a patch of grass, and you pull into the chain link, and then you manually close the gate, right? So I pull my truck up into the driveway, and as I go to get out of my truck, him and his boys are hopping out the car, coming up to me, and my daughter's mom and my daughter are in the house. Yeah. Um, it was right after she was born. My daughter's mom and my daughter in the house, dude. I hop out the truck, I'm like, y'all go on home. You you ain't want none of this. Go. They turn around, got right in their car, and left. But if they would have stepped past that fence under my property, I would have given them more holes in their chest to breathe through. Like, there wasn't a question there. But that's the only time I've ever actually had to draw my firearm. But I intended on using it. Yeah, like it wasn't a scare. It's not like look what I have. Like, I'm I'm gonna shoot your ass. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. And I think that's a lot of people they think, oh, I have a gun, I'll just show it to somebody, and they'll run away. That's illegal. One, that's illegal, and two, that's not what it's for. Like, you no one should know you have a firearm until it's too late.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Yeah, until you until you're ready to use it.

SPEAKER_00 53:04

The the the reason they know that you have one is because something has happened and they've made a grave mistake.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

And the only time you want to pull it and not use it is something like what you just described where you want to de-escalate something that could happen. Because there's more than three of them. Yeah, I think that's I think it don't don't quote me on this, but I think the it's no, because actually it doesn't matter how many people it is, because if you can articulate that you were in fear of your life, then it doesn't matter if it's one person or two people.

SPEAKER_00 53:28

And this was back when you met me that I was a tiny little scrawny fucking 120-pound dude. Yeah. Like I'm not gonna take three big ass dudes on my own. Yeah. I and my family's inside that house. Right. If you get past me, you get to them, so you ain't getting past me. Yeah. It's just not happening. I got I got enough rounds for you and your friends. Yep. And uh, so that's but the yeah, yeah, there are a lot of people who are like, you know, I'll go I'll just draw my gun on them. No, you won't. That's how you go to jail.

SPEAKER_02 53:58

Yeah, you can't draw your gun on somebody arguing with them over stupid shit.

SPEAKER_00 54:02

Or or like you you see the people like the road rage, they fucking draw and then they get shot.

SPEAKER_02 54:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

You drew a gun on me, you're getting shot.

SPEAKER_02 54:10

Dude, it happens all the time down here in for road rage incidents. People get shot over stupid shit like that. Like, I I I I'm not gonna lie, I got some road rage in me. You know, yeah, oh I know there's a lot of stupid people down here, and my temper sometimes is really short when it comes to things like that. And you know, I've I've made mistakes, I've gotten out of my vehicle before to go after somebody, and yeah, you know, it's stupid. I could have easily been shot for doing that. Um, you know, it it's it's just kind of you know, in the heat of the moments, things like that happen, but you know, you've got to be able to know what situation you can and can't do. Right. And, you know, and then you also have to be able to let shit go. Is it worth it? Because yeah, you you know, it's all uh easy to talk about, yeah, I'm gonna defend myself, I'm gonna shoot this person, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. But when it actually happens, you know, yeah, you might have protected yourself, you might have been in the clear, you might not get any charges, but you still have to no, it's not even that. It's now you have to live with taking somebody's life. Yeah, and that doesn't go away just because you defended yourself. Yeah, you're gonna think about all of these different scenarios, all of these different things that that you could have done different, that you could have, you know, did I really have to do this? What what was the argument over? Was it you know, did I really need to argue about that? Did this need to happen? Did that need to happen? Did I really need to shoot him in the chest three times? Did I really need to do this? Couldn't I have shot him in the leg?

SPEAKER_00 55:32

You know, but it's just yeah, but you you can what whip yourself to death and like Yeah, and it it it doesn't go away.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

So if you own a gun and you you think you know you're all the talk and everything that you you know you're gonna shoot somebody, it's not all what it what you what you think it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 55:46

That and like so I know like I don't like confrontation. I'll handle it. Like if there's confrontation, I'm not gonna step away from it, but I don't enjoy it, I don't actively seek it. I also know little, like you said, if I was in that situation, I'll do it, I'll do what I gotta do, and I'll go to therapy later, I'll handle it later, but I'm not gonna be happy about it. Yeah, but not not wanting to do it is not gonna stop me from actually doing it. I I like to think, right?

SPEAKER_02 56:16

I say no man, I uh I I you know it's no it's no secret that I you know I was in the military and people you know will sit there and say, Oh, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. But when when you start hearing those explosions and those gunshots, yeah, it it you know, and there's nothing wrong with this when when this happens to people, but people freeze. Yeah, you know, no matter how much training you have, when that actually starts, fight or flight kicks in, dude. You have to dress them like I had to, you know, help put somebody's vest and helmet on them because they just absolutely froze. Yeah, and there's I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, you know. It just it it it's a flight or fight, like you said, it's you know, whatever happens, happens.

SPEAKER_00 56:54

But you may have full intentions of I'm gonna draw my firearm, I'm gonna defend my family, I'm gonna do what I have to, but you end up just stuck there like this with a gun in your hand, not doing shit. Yeah, right? Like so and you second guess, which happens a lot.

SPEAKER_02 57:10

They were um I don't remember what I was watching. There was a documentary that I was watching the other day, and there's like they showed like 16 videos or something like that of people that had a firearm that lifted their shirt that went to grab it, but then they put their shirt back down and they ended up getting shot.

SPEAKER_00 57:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

When they could have defended themselves, but they second guessed.

SPEAKER_00 57:26

Well, that's why like I'm thankful I never did I didn't have to do anything, you know, in in that moment, but I'm thankful I had that moment too because I now know how I would respond. I drew, I was ready, I had my firearm trained on another on another human being, ready to pull the trigger, and I didn't have any hesitation. Right. So it's it's good to know how you're gonna respond to that, but yeah, a lot of people they they they buy a gun and they just turn into Billy Badass, right? They think like no one can stop me now. No, no, they they can't still be stopped. And then like like like you said, so Shay is not into the gun world. Shay is, you know, she didn't grow up around firearms like I did. She's been to the rain once in her entire life. Like, she's not range. Sorry, I said rain. I was gonna say escape by it. She's been to the range once her entire life. Like, we're actually gonna go this weekend, but she's not like me and you, or even like Holly. And Holly's not super into them, but she's Holly's more into them than you think she is.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

Really? Okay, so then dude, I I taught her and her mom how to shoot, and they both they're fucking dead on, dude. I'd think you'd be scared of them if they're gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 58:35

I think once Jay goes and she actually shoots and she's like in a different environment.

SPEAKER_02 58:39

She's never done it, you know, because she's only been in the range once, so she doesn't have any bad habits. Right. But when you train somebody from zero, like my wife or my mother-in-law, um you know, you teach them the the actual fundamentals. No experience is better than bad experience, bad habits, right? They come with the good habits and they're able to hit center mass easily.

SPEAKER_00 59:10

So, like but so she she's not really like into it, right? That that's not really her thing. Um but I I just think a lot of it is people need to really stop and think and and and and analyze that. That that's what I was getting at, and then I'll move on. Shea goes, Well, why why wouldn't you just shoot them in the leg? Well, because if somebody breaks into your house in Florida and you shoot them in the leg and you don't kill them, even though they were actively going and committing a crime, they can come back and sue you for everything you have because you assaulted them. Right?

SPEAKER_02 59:45

That that's well it's uh yeah, that's that's a tough way to explain it. But yeah, you you don't ever want to shoot to wound. Yeah, no. Um because they can still take action towards you afterwards.

SPEAKER_00 59:58

Yeah, and if if if you're shooting, it should be because you feel as though you are in danger and your only option is using that firearm, and you should be shooting to to incapacitate, you know, and that's all right. Well, let's move on. Yes. What's next? The last thing we have here is going to be This Is Why We Drink. Wow. I love This Is Why We Drink. This is Why We Drink is my favorite. It's my absolute favorite. Yeah. Well, well you already have some? Oh yeah. That one was empty. So we're gonna reload here. So, this is why we drink. I'm gonna tell you why I drink. I drink the entitled Braggie show off you people. Make me want to just put them through a fucking wall. I was driving yesterday, going to my first stop. Okay. Dude just bought his car. No, I just bought a brand new car in December. Customer? No, I guess somebody on the road. Oh, okay. Driving down the veterans. How do you know they bought us bought the car? You'll find out. Okay. I just bought a brand new car in December. Right? Okay. I've never bought a brand new car before. I was super excited. I never knew I could- I literally got it off the showroom floor. Yeah. You know the first thing I did before I pulled out the parking lot?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:23

Paperwork, maybe? Remove the paperwork. It's usually already removed by the people because they clean it out before you get it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:28

I removed the paperwork, I removed the window sticker. Driving down the road. This guy still has a window sticker on his car. He probably hasn't bought it yet. He still has a window sticker on his car. And he's got a tag that is still is still good. And he you can tell, like, he has stuff in the car. He has stuff up in the dash. Like, it's his car. He's got he's got bumper stickers on it. Like, it's he it is his car. What kind of car was it? Uh, it was uh it was like a uh Ford F-150, like it was a it was a new Ford ore truck, right? He's got shit. You know it's his car, you know he owns it, and he's driving around with the fucking window sticker on it. Like, look at me, everybody. I'm better than you. Look at my brand new car. We get it. You bought a new car. You don't need to leave the sticker on to advertise to every fucking person you drive by for the rest of until you decide to take it off that you have it, we get it. I I saw it and I was immediately infuriated because it doesn't take much to really light my ass up, right? And and once I go off on a tangent, I'm done. And that just it's the it's that entitlement, just that like, look at me. Why do you need the sticker on? What if you can give me one good reason why you've had the car long enough to have shit all over the dashboard and have bumper stickers on it, so it's obviously yours. Give me one good reason why that sticker's on there and I'll shut the fuck up. Yeah, but there isn't one. There isn't one. You just need everybody to know. You need everybody to be, oh wow, that's in it. Why? Yeah, why? Why? I want, dude, I want to run it off the road. Like, I'm I'm in a work truck, I don't care about that thing. I will put you right into the gravel. I do not give a stick.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:11

I've been told so many times you're driving a billboard when you're driving that work truck. I don't give a flying fuck what I'm driving. If somebody's being stupid, I'm going to let them know they're stupid.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:22

What I'm driving is an educational opportunity. That's what I'm driving.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:26

Oh god, I hate it. Because I I got in a lot of trouble at our last company that we started working at together.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:31

Because, you know, I had one of their big vans, and it was the logo is on the side, and I I don't know how many people because they don't the the company that we're at now, they don't tell us. They don't they don't tell us when somebody calls on us. Well, no, because they know it's every time I got called on um at the other company, the owner's wife would call me.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:51

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:53

Yeah, she would call me, yeah, and she would be like, You gotta remember you're driving a billboard. And I was like, Do you want to hear my side, or do you just want to go off of his side? He's like, Well, your side does she said your side doesn't matter. His side is what the perception of you is. And I was like, Well, I don't give a fuck what my perception is. Right. I was like, I know what perception does not equate to reality. Yeah, I was like, I I know who I am and I know what actually happened. Because if you're gonna go off of just that, then why not just fire me? Because apparently what I just did was absolutely horrendous to the point to where you're calling me about it. Yeah. Like, what do you mean? And I was like, I was like, he he, I guarantee you he left out the part that we cut me off, where he break checked me, and that was the reason why I sped around him and went around him and gave him the bird. Yeah. You know, all of that. You know, whatever. Yep. Uh yeah, dude. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:45

When I say people with this sense of entitlement, Palm and Ryrene are exactly who I'm talking about. Those are the exact like those are those are the picture perfect people, right? Like you know them. You you know you you can see guess the stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:06

And it's also they explain everything to you after they're reminding you that they own this, they own that, they do this, they do that. That's not gonna okay, so alright. I'm I'm not gonna respect you because you have money. This is this is kind of rolling into uh beyond the front door, right? Because I like I went to a customer's house the other day, and they wanted to sit there and tell me how they own uh 13 different office buildings throughout Tampa and they own this and they own that, but they're arguing with me over giving me my $75 copay. Right. So if you own all these buildings, then just fucking give me my $75, and I will be on my way. Tell them why you're mad. Oh, bro. This this is a we should not get into this topic. We should change topic right now because I am gonna start showing true callers.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:55

I think we found Ken's. This is why we drove. Bro, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:58

Oh my god, it should so annoying. I don't care how much money you make. Just because you make more money, or you think you make more money than I do. Yeah, there's that. Because you have no idea how much money I make. You have no idea if I have any side business going on. Yeah. You have no idea what I have going on in my life. You see me show up in a tradesman truck and you think I'm a piece of shit. Yep. Fuck you. Okay. I probably make more money than you do. And plus, I don't care what you make. I don't know. I talk to you the same way I talk to somebody in the hood. Now I'm not saying people in the hood are not making more money because I'll tell you there's some of those houses that I've been in the hood where the outside looks like fucking But you walk inside and they got more shit than you can ever dream of.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:44

Yeah. It's like it's like that's their castle. I talked to I talk to Joe Blow Lawyer the same way I talk to Rodney at the trailer park. Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:52

Like I don't care how much money you make. I'm telling you what the problem with your air conditioner is. Yeah. I give you your options. Just because you think I'm there as a tradesman and you think you're paying me a $75 copay, that you think you own me from that. No, yeah. No, you will never own me. I don't care if you give me $20,000 for the most sophisticated air conditioner that we have, you still do not own me. Once that transaction is over, this is over. Well, it's not even that. You don't own me or don't own me during that transaction. Yeah. Guess what? You're buying a piece of equipment from me. You are not buying me. You do not own me. The only part of me that you get is the physical being standing in front of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:35

Can I buy you? Bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:37

Yes. There's parts that you all pay for. You don't need to buy me. I'm free for you. Okay. Okay. But listen.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:42

Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:45

This is this is a hard like a thing that gets me fired up because people think that because their stature in life, that they believe that they own people that are under them. Not even fuck you.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:02

But just that they have power over. Yeah, you can't. They can zero power and control what I do and how I do.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:09

Yeah, if anything, I have power over you. Yeah. Because I can either fix your AC or bounce. I can schedule you to fix your AC if I can't do it right there, or I can fuck your AC up, and you'll never have AC again until you pay me my $75, and then I will fix your AC.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:28

And it's crazy. So for the people that don't know, a lot of work we do is home warranty work. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:34

So the homeowner themselves don't have to pay for parts in labor on most of the things, right? They pay a certain copay, and their home warranty company will pay us on the back end of whatever repair is as long as it's within their scope of work.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:50

So it's like you go to the doctor, you need x-rays, labs, blood work, all that. You pay your $40 copay at the doctor, and your insurance company pays for everything else. Correct. Same thing we have here. We show up, they pay us our $75 copay, service charge, whatever, and the warranty company kicks in to cover the cost of the repairs, right? So get so for the people that don't know, that's what we mean. Where we'll show up, and because it's not being done exactly how they want it or the way they expected it, or what they think is supposed to happen, because that's what they saw on Google, and their neighbor's friend's brother, sister, Tom said this is what's supposed to happen. They want to refuse payment and not pay us because they're not getting what they thought they were supposed to get or they expected. Technically, and that's not how fucking life works.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:30

No, and technically, the $75 is due the moment we walk up to the front door. As soon as I on that door. You are supposed to give us that money right away. Yeah. We don't do that because that puts a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths. Right. So we actually try to diagnose. Now there's certain people that we have notes in our systems for to where we will collect that money up front because if that because they've been hit up a hit uh like they've had a history of not paying us. So if you don't pay me up front, I'm not coming into your home.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:03

I went to a lady last week and I opened it up. I hadn't been there in like six months, but my notes from last time I was there said this lady's an entitled fucking asshat. I'm like, oh, I'm in for a good time. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:14

Just say wasn't she completely different this time?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:16

I think you said she was fine. Now it was her daughter who was learning how to be the entitled ass hat. Oh god. That's another thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:24

Who owns the home? Because if you know, fucking Joe Blow owns the home and Johnny Boyth is just turning 18 and he thinks he's entitled now because he's fucking whatever age he is. I I have had people to where they start talking to me and I look at them and I'm like, are you the homeowner? Well, no. Are you the one are you the one paying for the repair? Well, no. So you have nothing to do with this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:51

Well, no, I I live here. Okay. So I asked the same question. Do you own the home? Well, no. Okay, are you paying the bill? Well, no. Then shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:00

Yeah, dude, I will I'll turn my entire body and cut them out of the convers. Or there there was one time, little old lady, sweet as can be, like she understood what I was trying what I was trying to say, but her son was trying to protect his inheritance, you know what I mean? Um, her son didn't want her to spend the money because the more she spends in this life, the less he gets in haze when she dies, right? And unfortunately, we're in Florida and that's how people are, they want to protect the inheritance. And um the the dude kept piping in, kept being a dick. And I I looked at her and I said, Ma'am, do you mind if we go outside and have this conversation? Or maybe like in a different part of the house that we can have this conversation privately. And dude goes, Why do you have to have it privately? And I said, Because you're an insufferable prick. And I turned and I said, Ma'am, can we go outside? And she she kind of chuckles a little bit and she goes, Yeah, we'll we'll go out back. And she his name was fucking John or Don or some shit like that. She's like, John, go go watch the dogs and make sure that they don't bite this nice man. And we we we walked outside and did what we had to do, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:05

I've had I've had one where um uh I went to a house and it was a condo, and if you don't live in a condo or don't know anything about condos, if one thing is happening to one unit in that condo, everybody in the building feels like they have a right to know what's going in on that unit. I pulled up, and before I even get out of my truck, this guy walks up to my window. That already pisses me off. Yeah, let me know. Let me do what I need to do and get out of the vehicle. Don't approach my window. Okay, because you're you're getting into my space and and I'm not ready for you, and I don't want to talk to you yet. Right. Because I thought it was gonna be the homeowner. Okay, so I nicely look at him, kind of sigh, put my window down, and he goes, What unit are you here for? And I'll kind of look at him and I was like, Okay. And so I look at my phone, and because if this is the homeowner, I don't want to start off going right off trying to be rude. So I tell him the unit, he's like, Oh, what are you doing over there? And I was like, Are you the homeowner? And he goes, No. I'm president of the board here.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:20

Oh, not that dog. I don't care if you're the fucking Pope.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:26

Dude, this guy, he I almost hit him with my car door. I was like, sir, I'm gonna step out now. And he's like, Well, you need to tell me what you're doing here.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:38

The fuck I do.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:39

I was like, sir, you need to step away from my door so I can step out. And he and I started opening it and he didn't move. And I said, Sir, if you don't move, I'm going to move you. And he looked at me and he goes, Really? And I said, Yes. I'm going to really not letting me exit my vehicle. I'm going to move you so I can exit my vehicle. And he looks at me and he finally steps back, and I get out, and I said, Now, respectfully, sir, you are not the homeowner. I'm not telling you what I'm here for. If you want to ask the homeowner to tell you, by all means, get all the information you want. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:16

So or you can tell the homeowner to give me permission to talk to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:19

No, I still won't. See, I unless unless the if the homeowner is home, I'm talking to the homeowner. Right. Now, unless they are very elderly and they are not in the right and they need somebody else, I will talk to a family member.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:35

I actually I've been I've started to do it differently, and this is like probably more off-air conversation, but I've started doing it differently where like if if I'm dealing with somebody elderly, before I do anything, let's say, hey, do you have anybody who helps you make decisions and and helps you do stuff in the house? A son, daughter, son-in-law, like I'll I'll start doing that proactively because we live in a a world and a state where everybody's taking advantage of the elderly.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:01

And I don't want that to be the the perception of what I actually did that uh two years ago, maybe. Um where the the lady I I could tell she wasn't grasping everything I'm saying. Right. And I was like, ma'am, you're you need a new air conditioner. Do you have somebody I can talk to? And she she's like, Well, you could call my son, and I was like, Awesome, what's his phone number? And she couldn't find it. So she handed me her phone and she pulled his number up and called him from her phone. Right. Because she couldn't figure out how to do the phone number, and I didn't want to grab her phone with you know, asking for the phone number because I didn't I didn't want her to get any perception that I was trying to do anything out of the ordinary. So she called her son and and she was trying to tell him what I was doing. And I was like, ma'am, do you mind if I talk to him? And so she handed me his phone.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:50

Yeah, because she gives the I have an air conditioning guy here, and I don't know what's going on, and he's saying I need a new one, and it wasn't even that.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:57

She was she I don't even think she was fully understood that I was there for air conditioning. Oh, it was like that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I talked to the son and I was like, hey man, this is what I'm here for. I'm here on First Americans behalf, right? Which is the home warranty company, and I was like, this is what's going on, this, this, and this. And he actually was like so thankful because I called him. Yeah, instead of trying to explain everything, because he was like, he was like, she she would have just signed a check, and I was like, I know she would have. Yeah, I know I could have done that. She tried to get their checkbook, and I said, I need to talk to somebody first. That's why we're on the phone. Yeah, because I don't do shit, I don't do sketchy shit. Yeah. You know, I I'm gonna tell you what you need to know, not what you want to hear. And that's just how it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:41

And that's that's unfortunately, not everybody's like that. The majority of people aren't like that down here, and if they were, we would live in a different world. So my uh my this is why we drink went on a very different tangent. It did, it did.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:54

Listen completely switched. Listen, you want to get a hold of us, you want to drop us an email. We have an Instagram right now, blue collar banner. Okay, we if you have we have an email, blue collar banner at gmail.com. It's on the bottom of your screen right now. Right there. Smash that like button, smash that subscribe button, help us out here. It doesn't cost you anything. Yeah, all you got to do is help us out. If you want to hear something or you think that we said something the wrong way, you want to talk shit, bro. Send us an email. We will uh read every email, respond to every email the best we can. And you know, we're trying to get, you know, this is episode five. Right? We are on our way to where we this is starting to become a normal thing for us. We're gonna continue doing this.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:39

I'm gonna tell you too, no feedback is bad feedback. We want to hear from you. Even if you want to talk shit, tell tell again, I said from episode one, tell Kennifer how shitty his beard is. That that's fine. Like, read no feedback is bad feedback. Every comment will be seen, every email will be seen. We want to hear from you and send us contact.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:58

Bringing up my beard. Uh huh. When your beard is so fucking white now, it is getting ridiculous. You have a strand in your goatee or in your mustache that is so white, the lights are reflecting off of it. I pulled out a white eyeball hair the other day. It is called blue collar banner. Have a good one, everybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:19

Bye, guys.